


The truth about love

by shushu_yaoi_lj



Series: The truth about love [1]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), 8th year canon divergence, Accidental Bonding, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dry Humping, Emotional Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Rimming, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, but not in this order, it's my first ever rimming scene so please be kind, magic sharing, morning woods, possibly more enemies to lovers to friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/pseuds/shushu_yaoi_lj
Summary: Snow is about to go off, his magic is leaking out of him and I start to wonder if this was a mistake. I just wanted to tease him; I didn’t think he was going to get so mad over this. What the hell happened with Wellbelove?“Snow, calm down or you’re going to go off.”“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” he shouts, “I want to know if you’re in love with her.”Simon goes off and accidentally binds them together - 8th year Watford canon divergence.
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: The truth about love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826053
Comments: 255
Kudos: 757





	1. Very cross indeed

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic is based on W. H. Auden’s poem.  
> This is an 8th year canon divergent fic, Baz has not been kidnapped by Numpties and returns to Watford in September. It’s rated “explicit”, because there will definitely be smut (and quite a lot of it), but I will update the tags as I go along. Enjoy (hopefully)!

_Some say love’s a little boy,_

_And some say it’s a bird,_

_Some say it makes the world go around,_

_Some say that’s absurd,_

_And when I asked the man next-door,_

_Who looked as if he knew,_

_His wife got very cross indeed,_

_And said it wouldn’t do._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

“I’m sorry, Simon.”

Agatha doesn’t look even remotely sorry, as she walks away from me. I had barely managed to say hello to her and ask about her summer, when she basically dumped me and said we’re not meant for each other. I didn’t even get a chance to ask her if she’s in love with Baz.

I saw them before the Humdrum kidnapped Penny and me. They were holding hands and facing each other. When he noticed me, he gave me that infuriating superior look. Agatha didn’t say anything about it, but I have a feeling he’s the reason she’s broken up with me.

She couldn’t even look me in the eyes, when she told me it was over. I know I should be more upset, but I just feel angry. As soon as he’s back, I’m going to drag Baz out of our room and punch his stupid beautiful face; we’ll see if Agatha still fancies him with a broken nose and a black eye.

I wander around the school aimlessly to kill time before the welcome-back picnic. Most of the students are returning today, the lessons start tomorrow and Baz should be back by now. I head for Mummers House, in the hope of finding him there.

His stuff is in our room, but he’s not. He must have headed to the picnic with Dev and Niall. I go to the bathroom and can already smell his posh soap, I close my eyes and inhale, it makes me feel lightheaded. I just want to find him. Find Baz and ask him about Agatha. Then maybe punch him, that’s the plan.

The picnic is going to start in an hour, so I leave our room and go down the stairs. I hover near Niall and Dev’s room and listen for Baz’s voice, but there’s no sound coming from the other side of the door. I go to the Great Lawn and lots of people are gathering there, looking cheerful and chatting loudly.

“Simon!” Penny calls me and runs towards me, “I’ve been trying to find you for the past half-hour, where have you been?”

“Looking for Baz,” I mutter, my eyes searching among the groups of students sitting on the grass.

“That’s a surprise!” says Penny, “have you seen Agatha?”

I groan and stop in my tracks.

“Yes, and she broke up with me.”

“Oh,” says Penny looking at me, “well, that’s for the best, Simon.”

“What?!” I nearly shout, “Penny, how can you say that?”

“Simon, you were both miserable and let’s face it, you were not a great couple. Besides, you don’t even look upset,” she says matter-of-factly.

“I am upset! And I’m angry at Baz, it’s all his fault! You’ve seen how he was holding her hand last summer, he must have seduced her and convinced her to leave me. They’ve probably spent the summer together...”

“Simon, I spoke to Agatha earlier and she’s definitely not with Baz.”

I decide to ignore her, when I spot grey eyes and soft dark hair. His long legs seem to have become even longer over the summer. His elegant fingers brush a lock of wavy hair behind a perfect ear. His eyes meet mine and I can feel a shiver running down my spine. Baz’s lips curl up in a defying sneer and he leaves his friends without a word, walking towards the Wavering Wood.

“Simon, where are you going?” asks Penny, when I start following him.

“I’m going to settle this, once and for all. You stay here, Penny.”

“Simon, that’s such a bad idea!” she holds my arm, but I break free.

Baz is already ahead of me, so I start running towards him. I catch a glimpse of him, he’s turning to check if I’m following him, a glint of malice in his eyes. The woods get thicker; I’m wearing a t-shirt and my bare arms start getting caught in brambles and branches. My left wrist brushes against some stinging nettle and I curse as I lick my skin, trying to ease the pain. Baz turns for a second and smirks in my direction.

There’s a clearing ahead and he finally stops when we reach it. He faces me, his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“Are you done following me like a puppy, Snow?”

“Fuck off, Baz!”

“To what do I owe the honour of your impeccable manners?”

“Tell me what happened with Agatha!” I shout at him.

“Trouble in paradise?” he says looking amused.

“She left me and it’s all your fault! I want to know what happened between you two last summer,” I demand, raising my voice. I can feel my anger quickly rising, my heart beating madly in my chest.

“That’s none of your business, Snow. If you can’t keep your girlfriend, you only have yourself to blame.”

He’s so infuriatingly calm and I summon the Sword of Mages without even thinking, I can feel it in my hand and I’m ready to strike. Little droplets of sweat are running down my back and my magic is buzzing in my ears. My wrist is stinging like mad and I’m feeling too warm. I just want to punch that smile off his stupid posh face.

“What happened with Agatha?” I ask again, my magic is bubbling under my skin, the smell of smoke fills the air and Baz’s aloofness seems to falter for a second.

“Nothing happened,” he says, trying to sound convincing.

“Bullshit, tell me truth! I saw you last summer, you were holding her hands,” I accuse him.

“Crowley, Snow! Maybe you should spend less time following me around and more time showing some dedication to Wellbelove. She probably feels neglected.”

**Baz**

Snow is about to go off, his magic is leaking out of him and I start to wonder if this was a mistake. I just wanted to tease him; I didn’t think he was going to get so mad over this. What the hell happened with Wellbelove?

“Snow, calm down or you’re going to go off.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” he shouts, “I want to know if you’re in love with her.”

I can’t help but laugh at his ridiculous assumption. If only he knew the truth! Crowley, he just makes me so angry; he doesn’t even contemplate that I might not be interested in his little princess and might be after him instead.

“Piss off, Snow!”

“Tell me!”

I feel like hitting him, he’s so beautiful and so fucking thick. How can he even think that I’m in love with her?

He lets out a loud groan and his pupils disappear, I brace myself for the explosion his magic is going to cause, when I hear him shouting.

“ **Show me your feelings** , Baz!”

That’s the last thing I hear, before the blinding light fills my vision and then complete darkness takes over.

**Simon**

I’m burning. My skin is sizzling all over; I’m so hot I feel like I’m going to melt. I want to take my clothes off.

I need something cool on me. I need water. I need ice.

My eyes are still shut, I hear muffled voices in the background, sounding panicky. Penny’s crying, someone else talks over her. A hand grabs my arm and I feel like it’s burning through my skin, I open my mouth and just scream.

**Baz**

I feel completely frozen to the core. My body won’t move; it’s rock solid like a giant piece of ice. I’m a fucking icicle and my eyes are frozen shut. My teeth are clattering in my mouth, a painful shiver runs through my spine and I just want to shout, but my mouth won’t cooperate.

“Baz, are you ok?”

It sounds like Niall’s voice, but I can’t be sure. The noise is so faint, like it’s coming from the bottom of the sea.

And then I hear it, loud and clear.

His scream.

**Simon**

Someone’s casting spells on me, I feel the magic bouncing back as it hits my skin. Whatever they’re trying to do is not working.

A spell, then another and another one. I finally manage to open my eyes and the pain hits me like a train. I’m burning and I’m in agony. My mouth opens and the most atrocious sound comes out.

I need it. I need _him_. Where is he?

**Baz**

My limbs are so ice-cold that it feels like I have a thousand needles stuck in my flesh. The pain is out of this world and I don’t think I’ll be able to tolerate it much longer.

Then I hear it again. He’s screaming like his pain is worse than mine.

I need to stop it. I need to get to him. Where is he?

**Simon**

My eyes search for him. I’m in the infirmary and there are people around me. Penny, Miss Possibelf, the nurse, Baz’s friend.

Then I see him; he’s lying on a bed and his body is shaking. He looks like he’s having a seizure.

“Baz!” I cry out his name and his eyes snap open.

He turns towards me and our eyes finally lock. I can almost taste his fear and his pain; I can feel them running through my body like a current.

I feel a pull at the very core of my being. It’s like when the Crucible first led me to Baz, but a million times stronger. It feels like every single cell of my body is pulling me towards him, screaming that I need to touch him.

I try to get out of bed; I need to get to him now.

I stumble and Penny catches me before I hit the floor; her arms against my skin are like hot irons. I hiss in pain and she realises she’s hurting me and lets go. I stagger my way to Baz’s bed and even though it’s just a few feet away, it feels like I’m running a bloody marathon.

When I finally reach him, I collapse on top of him and the relief is so immediate that a loud sob escapes my lips.

He’s so cold and touching him feels so fucking unbelievable. When my bare skin meets his, I can feel the flow of our magic reacting and sparks of pleasure make me moan out loud.

My hands roam around his body, under his shirt, on his neck, through his hair. I need more, I need to touch more.

He’s here. He’s safe. He’s mine.

**Baz**

Fuck, Snow feels so hot against my skin and his hands are everywhere, warming me up and making me melt. I whine and close my eyes; the pain is slowly ebbing away, as I feel him moving impossibly closer to me. His face is in the crook of my neck, his legs around my hips, his chest pressed against mine. The heart-wrenching despair that was consuming me is finally dissolving, while his hands map my skin and warm it up.

I inhale and finally manage to move; my fingers slide through his curls and I let out a soft moan when his face lifts up and his eyes meet mine.

“Simon…”

**Simon**

“Everyone out, come on!”

I’m still all over Baz and my mind feels foggy, like it’s wrapped in cotton wool and the only thing that matters is touching him, feeling more of his skin under me.

There’s movement behind us and people speaking, I don’t really care as long as we can stay together.

“Simon, I will be back later,” says Penny. I don’t even have the strength to answer.

“Mr Snow?”

I groan and close my eyes. I just want him.

**Baz**

“Mr Pitch?” asks a voice next to me.

I open my eyes and Miss Possibelf is standing beside the bed, a concerned look on her usually impassive face.

“Mr Pitch, can you hear me?”

I open my mouth, but my voice doesn’t seem to want to come out. I nod and one of my hands wraps around Simon’s back, holding him closer.

“It appears you and Mr Snow have accidentally ended up in a bond.”

My brain is slowly trying to catch up on what she’s saying, but I can’t concentrate and my body just seems to want to shut down and curl up next to Snow’s.

“I have no idea how that happened, binding spells are incredibly hard to perform, let alone illegal,” she continues talking and I can’t make sense of what she’s saying.

“Unfortunately, you have been separated for a few hours, which caused a lot of distress and physical pain for both of you. I am going to leave you to recover for the rest of the night. The nurse will keep a close eye on you.”

Her mouth is in a thin line and she looks very worried, I don’t really know why.

I have him with me now, everything is fine.

I close my eyes and let his warmth envelop me.


	2. Smooth at the edges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night time cuddles, Simon and Baz find out more about how bonds work, the Mage is a twat (but that’s not a surprise).  
> “Never underestimate the power of a good shag.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to all the people who have left comments and kudos, you really keep me going.  
> Sorry for opening the chapter with a loo scene, but I was worried about how long they could go without peeing and drinking (yes, I spend my time thinking about this kind of stuff).

_Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,_

_Or the ham in a temperance hotel?_

_Does its odour remind one of llamas,_

_Or has it a comforting smell?_

_Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,_

_Or soft as eiderdown fluff?_

_Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?_

_O tell me the truth about love._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

I wake up in the middle of the night, because I desperately need a wee. I’m really thirsty and my stomach feels empty. I groan and move a bit; I don’t want to get up, it feels so nice sleeping in his arms. He mumbles something in his sleep and his fingers twitch on my skin. I’m lying on top of him and his arm is around my back, his fingers tucked under my t-shirt. He’s keeping me close, making me feel safe.

Our legs are intertwined and our bare feet are touching. I can feel every inch of my skin that is in direct contact with his. It feels like it’s humming, like my skin cells are reacting to his and are singing their appreciation.

I open my eyes and I have no idea where I am, so I look around confused. It’s a big room with rows of beds and there’s a faint light coming from a tiny room at the end. The infirmary?

I suddenly realise that it’s Baz sleeping next to me.

My brain seems to take an awful lot of time to process why I’m in the infirmary with Baz, cuddling up with him. There’s a thick fog in my head. A part of me knows there’s something wrong going on, but the overwhelming feeling is that this is completely right and I should move closer, touch him even more.

I need to feel more skin. I need to take our shirts off; why are we still wearing them?

I slide my hands under his top, when Baz opens his eyes and stares at me. He looks tired and unwell, with dark circles under his eyes.

“Snow?” he asks with a hoarse voice.

His right hand comes up to cup his palm against my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his touch, making a noise that sounds like a purr.

“Are you ok?” he asks, his fingers brushing my skin and sliding into my hair.

“Need the loo,” I mumble.

We don’t seem to be able to move for a few minutes, still engrossed in each other’s touch. Baz is the first to get up, he moves to a sitting position, groaning in pain as our bodies drift apart.

“I’ll be quick,” I say and try to stand on my feet, feeling quite unsteady.

I can’t remember what happened to me. Why am I here? What happened to Baz? Were we in some kind of accident?

In the minute it takes me to reach the toilet and close the door behind me, my body seems to react in the most violent way to the absence of Baz next to me. I feel nauseous and weak, there’s a strong pull coming from my stomach to just leave and go back to him. I feel nauseous, too hot and clammy and I need him to cool me down. I quickly wash my hands and then open the door, only to find Baz waiting outside, his grey eyes open wide.

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his chest, nestling my face under his chin. I feel his cold hands covering my back, hugging me so tight that he takes my breath away.

“I need to go too, I’ll be quick.”

I feel the loss immediately, I look for some water to keep my hands busy and find a glass and a jug on the table next to our bed. The infirmary looks empty, it’s just the two of us here. 

I can feel Baz coming back, before I can actually hear him. I sense his body moving closer, the strong pull ebbing away as his strong arms envelope me from behind, circling my waist and holding me impossibly close to him. He rests his mouth on my neck, breathing in my smell and sighing against my skin.

“You feel so good…” he whispers, his lips brushing my neck. I lean into his touch and close my eyes. I don’t know why my brain was trying to trick me earlier, this feels so right.

“Back to bed,” I mutter, taking his hand and dragging him along.

He climbs onto the bed with a groan, he still looks like there’s something wrong with him.

“You ok?” I ask, worried.

“Thirsty,” he says.

“There’s some water here,” I say grabbing the glass and offering him some.

“I’ve already had some. I need blood,” he says closing his eyes and lying on the bed. I climb on top of him, straddling him and placing my hands on his chest.

“Do you want mine?” I ask. The question leaves my mouth before I can process what I’m saying.

He shakes his head and pulls me closer to him.

“Just need you…” he whispers.

“Take your shirt off,” I say removing mine and shifting closer. He stares at something on my chest, a frown appearing on his beautiful face.

“The cross…” he murmurs.

I take it off and throw it away, it clinks as it hits the floor. Baz smiles faintly and unbuttons his shirt with uncertain fingers. His white chest glows in the dim light and I run my fingers over his pale skin. He shivers under me, as my fingers skim across his chest and then reach his face. I sigh as I lower myself onto him and when our bodies finally touch, I can feel a flow of energy and pleasure running through my veins and out of my skin, straight into Baz’s. He gasps and his eyes open wide.

“Simon…was that your magic?”

I move even closer. I want to feel more skin, more Baz. I wrap my arms around him and I kiss a sensitive spot on his neck; he moans and he buries his fingers in my hair. He’s getting hard under me and I feel my own dick reacting to him. My magic flows out of me and I push it into Baz, who whimpers and mumbles something I don’t catch.

I feel so tired, all of a sudden. I lie on top of him and close my eyes.

I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel complete.

We fall asleep.

**Baz**

The light is too strong and I struggle to open my eyes.

“Mr Pitch,” says a voice next to the bed, “I need you to wake up.”

I’m so thirsty and hungry I could die (again); I can smell Snow all over me and there’s a solid weight on top of my chest. I open my eyes and all I see is bronze curls, freckles and moles.

Simon Snow is sleeping next to me, he’s actually nearly on top of me. We’re both half naked.

“Aleister Crowley…” I gasp.

“Before you start panicking, Mr Pitch, shall I remind you that you are in the infirmary, because it appears you have accidentally ended up in a magickal bond with Mr Snow?” says Miss Possibelf.

Snow lifts his head and mutters something unintelligible, rubbing his eyes like a child. He looks so cute that I think I’m going to melt. This is one of my wildest fantasies coming true. Waking up with a half-naked Simon Snow in my arms. It’s a shame he looks in shock and there’s a teacher standing next to us.

“What happened?” he asks and then freezes when he realises where he is. He seems to register his state of undress and the fact that we slept together, I feel his heart beating madly in his chest. He gapes at me and then looks at Miss Possibelf with a shocked expression.

“Mr Snow, as I was telling Mr Pitch, you have spent the night in the infirmary with him, because you seem to have accidentally performed a binding spell. Your friends found you both unconscious in the Wavering Wood yesterday evening and didn’t know what had happened. We kept you apart, which caused you both a great deal of pain and distress, therefore we made you spend the night together in an attempt to help you recover.”

This is quite a lot to process, we both sit up in bed, trying to leave some space between us. There’s a strange feeling in my stomach, as soon as Snow moves away from me. It’s like that night with the Crucible, but so much stronger. He’s a like a magnet and my brain struggles to focus on what is going on, because I need to have him next to me.

 _Closer_ , my body screams.

Snow’s fingers grip the bedsheets and he pulls a face, he seems to be in pain and something’s bothering him.

“First of all, how are you feeling?” asks Miss Possibelf.

“Horrible,” he mutters with a grimace, “hungry, too hot…itchy all over.”

“What about you, Mr Pitch?”

“Cold…I feel cold and tired.”

Snow looks at me, I try to avoid his gaze.

“Did you feel the same way when you woke up?”

“No…” he mumbles, “it felt…”

“Good,” I complete his sentence.

Miss Possibelf seems to be taking a mental note, nods to herself and then confirms that we are very likely to be bonded to each other.

“Miss Possibelf, can you break the bond?” asks Snow, looking hopeful.

“Unfortunately, Mr Snow, binding spells are incredibly hard to perform and nearly impossible to break. That’s part of the reason why they have been illegal for the past seventy years or so.”

She looks at both of us and then takes a chair and sits down.

“It would be easier if we knew which spell was used. Can you remember what incantation you performed?” she asks concerned.

**Simon**

I can’t remember a single thing! And apparently, I’m in a bond with Baz.

My life is so fucked up…

“I can’t remember anything…we were fighting over Agatha and then I went off. But I can’t remember what I said.”

I look at Baz, hoping that at least he knows, but his grey eyes avoid mine, as he shakes his head.

I’ve spent the night with him. I woke up on top of him. I woke up feeling absolutely amazing and now I feel like shit. I can’t keep still, my right leg is bouncing up and down and I end up scratching my wrist, then my ear. I’m getting too warm and I feel my magic prickling at my skin, making me anxious and jittery. I need to touch him, to look into his eyes and feel his cold skin against mine. But I don’t want to.

Why Baz of all people, for fuck’s sake?

“I have been doing a bit of research last night and in the majority of cases bonds cannot be broken. It would put both of your lives at risk.”

“What’s the point of a binding spell?” I ask, because I’m quite confused. Why do they exist if they’re impossible to break? Who would put themselves in this fucked up situation on purpose?

They both look at me and I feel like this is another one of these moments where I’ve said something stupid, just because I grew up with Normals.

“Well, binding spells have been used for centuries mainly for arranged marriages,” says Miss Possibelf.

“But why?” I ask. My skin is itchy all over, I’m starting to burn up again and a wave of nausea makes me nearly retch.

Baz shifts uncomfortably next to me, his hand moves and his fingers brush against mine. His thumb rests on my little finger and strokes it gently. The relief is almost immediate and as soon as my eyes lock with his, I feel alive again.

“Because sometimes in arranged marriages, the married couple was not exactly keen to perform their marital duties,” explains Baz. He seems to notice my confusion straight away.

“Sometimes one or both of them didn’t want to have sex, so they were put under a bond to encourage them to spend as much time as possible with each other. That was supposed to help them get to know each other and possibly encourage them to have sex. Once that happened, the bond normally dissolved of its own accord.”

It takes a moment for the information to sink in.

“Are you telling me that we need to shag in order to break the bond?” I ask in disbelief.

“Mr Snow!”

“Sorry Miss, I didn’t mean to be rude…” I apologise.

“That’s not entirely correct,” she says with a sigh, “we don’t know what kind of spell was performed. In rare occasions bonds were used to strengthen alliances or were used by fighting parties as a reconciliatory measure. In those cases, there was no sex involved and the bond could be dissolved using the right spell.”

I vaguely remember getting hard in bed with Baz last night, so I doubt we’re dealing with the second type of spell, but I don’t tell her that.

Shit, the bond is making me gay for Baz. Can my life get more fucked up? First the Humdrum, now this.

I suddenly have a doubt.

“Miss, is it possible that the Humdrum cast the spell on us?”

She shakes her head and looks dubious.

“We didn’t detect any kind of magickal activity that could be traced back to the Insidious Humdrum.”

“It was you…” murmurs Baz. I turn and lock eyes with him.

“What?”

“There was no one with us in the Wood.”

“How do we know it wasn’t you?” I accuse him.

He simply shakes his head, looking almost sad.

“I couldn’t possibly perform that kind of spell; that level of magic is too advanced even for me. Besides, they’re forbidden. I wouldn’t even know the words,” he pauses for a moment, then his leg moves closer and rests against mine. I almost moan out loud; it feels so good.

“Mr Pitch is correct; it normally takes at least two or three people to cast this type of spell.”

“Before going off, you cast a spell. I can’t remember what you said, but I’m sure you did. It was your magic, Snow.” 

**Baz**

He said: “show me your feelings”.

He bound us together, asking me to show him how I feel.

How can I tell him that I remember? That it’s actually _my_ fault? That we’re stuck together because I’m in love with him?

**Simon**

“May I suggest that you return to your room, take a shower and change into clean clothes? I will get some food from the kitchens delivered to your room. It’s already 10 o’clock and the other students will be in their lessons. We have arranged a meeting for 11 o’clock with the Mage and your father, Mr Pitch.”

“Father?” Baz asks, looking even paler than usual.

“We called him yesterday evening and he wanted to come straight away, but we managed to convince him to wait until this morning, since the Mage was away on a mission. We wanted both of your legal guardians to be present, as we need to discuss what to do and what kind of measures to take.” 

We nod and then we move, Baz looks quite unwell and weak.

The walk to our room is pure agony. He’s just a few inches away, but my skin burns and itches all over. I need to touch him so badly and it’s taking too long to get to Mummers House. We climb the stairs as fast as we can and once the door is shut behind us, I find myself pushing him against the wall to get closer, to feel him against me and touch him.

His fingers find my hair and he sighs, holding me tightly.

I’m hugging Baz. This should feel so incredibly wrong, so why does it feel so fucking brilliant instead? I close my eyes and breathe in his smell.

I suddenly remember something and push him away.

“Blood!” I shout.

“What?” he asks confused.

“Last night…you said you needed to drink blood. You’re a vampire!”

His eyes leave mine and he looks at the floor, his jaw tight and fists clenched.

“There you go, Snow. You’ve spent years trying to demonstrate that I was a vampire and now you can tell everyone that you were right. I will get stricken by the Coven and you’ll finally get rid of me,” he says bitterly.

“You didn’t want my blood,” I state.

“I would never drink your blood.”

“What, am I not good enough for your fine palate or something?” I ask angrily.

He finally looks at me and I see pain in his eyes.

“I don’t drink human blood! I never have and never will.”

“What?!” I ask in disbelief.

“I only drink animal’s blood.”

“Are you some kind of vegan vampire?” I ask getting closer to him.

The distance is killing me and since apparently he has no intention of draining me, I want to feel his cool skin against mine. I raise a hand and put it on his wrist, closing my eyes and trying not to moan at the wave of pleasure that runs through my body.

“I don’t hurt people. I normally hunt when it gets dark, but I couldn’t do it yesterday and I’m really thirsty.”

Someone knocks on the door and we both jump. It’s Premal, Penny’s brother, he hands me a plate with some sandwiches and fruit and then leaves. I notice my cross sitting on top of the plate; I must have left it at the infirmary yesterday. Baz looks at it, waiting for me to put it on again, but instead I chuck it in my wardrobe.

I don’t think I need it anymore.

**Baz**

We take turns to have a quick shower and then sit back to back on Snow’s bed to eat in silence. I don’t want him to see my fangs and he doesn’t ask any questions. 

I don’t know what to say to him and I’m worried about what my father and the Mage might want to do. Then I remember.

“You shared your magic with me yesterday,” I say.

“Yes…I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“It definitely isn’t. I’ve never heard of it before.”

“Maybe it’s the bond,” he shrugs.

I grab his hand and try to push my magic into him. Nothing happens.

“Not a thing. Don’t tell anyone yet, especially not the Mage.”

Snow grumbles something and continues eating his sandwich.

“Wellbelove…” I say. I can feel him tensing behind me.

“There’s nothing between us. She caught me feeding in the Wavering Wood that day you saw us, but that was it.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying it, because you’re stuck to me now and you don’t want me to punch you?”

I can’t see his face, but I know he’s jutting his chin out with a defiant glare in his eyes.

“Snow, I don’t like her and I never will."

“Not good enough for you?”

“She’s just not my type.”

He’s quiet for a few minutes.

“What’s your type, then?”

“Absolute nightmares,” I say.

We head to the Mage’s office, our fingers brushing every now and then. His hand on my elbow as we open the front door, my shoulder touching his as we go up the stairs, his fingers on my hip when I knock on the door.

“Come on in.”

My father is already sitting in front of the Mage, a furious expression on his face as he gets up to greet me.

“Basilton, how are you feeling?”

“Better now, Father. I am sorry you had to come all the way from Hampshire.”

“Let’s all take a seat and have a chat,” says the Mage.

Snow looks at him with hope. I move my chair closer when we sit down, letting my foot and my hip rest against his. He unconsciously leans into me and our shoulders touch. My father looks at me and frowns.

“Miss Possibelf has just updated us on the unpleasant situation we are facing. Basilton’s father and I were discussing what the best outcome would be, but we seem to disagree,” says the Mage tensely.

“I’m not letting you perform some kind of unknown ritual on them to split them up, it’s not safe! We don’t even know what spell has been cast. You’re out of your mind, if you think I will let you harm my son.”

I’ve never seen my father so angry and I can only gape at him, waiting for the Mage’s answer.

“We cannot leave them like that. Simon has an important mission to accomplish and he won’t be able to fight, if he’s tied to your son.”

“I’m going to get the Coven and the Old Families involved, this is unacceptable! We have to do some research and find a spell to break the bond, until then I am taking them to Pitch Manor to keep my son safe.”

“Have you lost your marbles? Simon is not coming with you! I’m starting to think that this is all a plot. Have you and the Old Families organised this to try to kidnap Simon?”

“What?!”, bellows my father, “if there’s anyone capable of plotting this, it’s you! I bet you got your Chosen One to perform a binding spell on my son in order to weaken our power! I’m taking them to Hampshire.”

“Simon is our only chance to defeat the Humdrum, he’s our ultimate weapon and I will not let you take him away. I’ve found a safe place where they can stay while I perfect the ritual and I will take them there myself as soon as we’re done with this pointless meeting.”

“Shut up!” I find myself shouting.

The room falls silent and Simon turns to look at me.

“Snow didn’t do it on purpose, it was just an accident. He’s not a thing that you get to move around and he’s certainly not a weapon!”

What the fuck have I just done? I’ve shouted at my father and at the Mage. He’s a twat, but he’s still the headteacher.

Shit, shit, shit.

I suddenly feel Snow’s hand grabbing mine, it’s warm and comforting and it grounds me. I look at him and his blue eyes give me back some confidence.

“We’re going to stay at Watford and we’re going to look into a way to break the bond.”

He nods and I feel his magic slowly making its way into my body. I close my eyes and I try not to make any noise as I feel the small sparks of his power through my veins and on my skin.

Crowley, I feel so alive.

**Simon**

After leaving the Mage’s office, we wait in silence in a small room and then we’re told to go and see Miss Possibelf to discuss our timetables.

“Gentlemen, the main issue is that you need to stay close to each other because of the bond, but your subject choices are different. My suggestion is that you change a few of your options so they match and then we alternate weeks. This week you can follow Mr Snow’s timetable and the next you will follow Mr Pitch’s.”

I think Baz won’t have a problem catching up on missed work, but I can barely keep up with mine when I’m in lessons. I pull at my curls and Baz sighs next to me.

“I will change half of my options so they match Snow’s.”

I never expected him to do it and I stare at him in disbelief. He takes his studies really seriously and I know he has big plans for next year.

“Are you sure, Baz?”

“Yes, no problem.”

He’s taking this much better than I expected. He even shouted at his dad and the Mage.

Maybe the bond is making him nicer, who knows.

“It’s important that you try to stay together, for your own safety. I know you are not friends and you don’t get on well, but if you stay apart for too long, it will damage your health and your magic. If anything happens to either of you, the other one will face the consequences too.”

“Miss Possibelf, are you trying to say that if one of us dies, the other one will die too?” I ask.

She pauses and then nods.

“The bond will eventually settle and you won’t feel so unwell when you leave each other’s side. You need to give it time. I will continue my research and I suggest that you try to learn as much as you can about bonds, in the hope of finding a solution. The Coven has been alerted and anyone who owns books on bonds is supposed to hand them in, so that we can study them.”

“We will carry on our on research using the school library,” says Baz.

Miss Possibelf looks at him and then at me.

“May I suggest that, considering your history, you spend as much time as you can in your room for the time being? The anathema will protect you, just in case you get angry at each other. The magic of the bond will make you crave each other’s touch, but it will not change your feelings towards each other.”

We leave her office and head back to our room. We have been allowed out of lessons for the rest of the day to recover. I still feel like shit.

I catch Baz’s arm as he walks across the field towards Mummer’s House and stop him.

“You said you needed to hunt,” I tell him.

“I do it in the dark, I’ll wait until after dinner.”

“Let’s go to the Wood now, everyone’s still in lessons. I don’t think I’ll last long after dinner, I’m knackered already.”

“What if we get caught?” he asks.

“We can always say we went back there to try to remember what happened, come on.”

He hesitates, but then follows me. I think he’s hungry (thirsty?), he still looks really pale. Well, paler than usual.

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” I say.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re a vampire.”

“Snow, do you realise you’ve spent the past couple of years trying to convince people that I’m a vampire?”

“I will shut up about it.”

“Are you afraid something will happen to you, if I get burnt at the stake?” he sneers at me.

“Nope,” I simply say, “you’re not dangerous. There’s no point in telling anymore.”

**Baz**

Snow wants to watch me feed, but there’s no fucking way. I catch a deer and hide behind some trees, even though it hurts to be apart from him.

My body’s filling with warm blood, but I feel so cold. I need his body next to mine to feel good.

What a colossal mess.

**Simon**

We go to dinner and Penny nearly screams when she sees me. She runs towards me and hugs me really tight.

“Simon, I was worried sick! Miss Possibelf wouldn’t tell me anything and I’ve been reading books on bonds all afternoon. How are you? What happened?”

I ignore Baz’s attempt to join Dev and Niall and sit at Penny’s table instead, hoping that he will follow me. I can feel the pull of the bond in my stomach and I wince in pain, but then it eases and Baz sits next to me with a frown, crossing his arms on his chest and looking towards his friends.

“Apparently I’ve cast a binding spell on us, but we don’t know which one and there’s no way to break it.”

Dev and Niall sit in front of us, bringing three plates full of food and eye me curiously.

“What happened?” asks Baz’s cousin.

“Snow and I are stuck in a bond. We need to find out how to break it,” Baz sums up.

Niall’s eyes open wide (he spells them blue, for some weird reason).

“A bond? But they’re banned, they used to cast them for arranged marriages when the couples couldn’t…you know…”

“Sex can’t possibly be the only way to break it,” says Penny turning pale.

Dev grins mischievously and winks at us.

“Never underestimate the power of a good shag, Bunce.”

“ **Cat got your tongue** ,” says Penny and Dev’s horrified expression makes me laugh for the first time since all of this fucked up thing happened.

Niall tries to protest, but Penny gives him one of her withering stares.

“We’re having dinner and he was being inappropriate,” she says, “don’t worry, he will be yapping again by tomorrow morning.”

Baz barely eats, while I stuff my face. Penny promises to spend tomorrow afternoon in the library looking for books and Niall says they will help too (Dev doesn’t look so convinced though).

**Baz**

We go back to our room after dinner, Snow is so tired he can barely stand. I can’t stop thinking about last night and how good it felt to sleep with him in my arms.

How am I going to cope all night with him a metre away?

I go to the en suite to brush my teeth, I put my pyjamas on and when I get back to our room I stop in my tracks. Snow has moved the bedside tables and joined our beds together.

I look at him and he shrugs.

“It’ll make things easier. I need to sleep,” he simply says.

We get under the covers and we spend a good five minutes trying to find a comfortable position, trying to have some contact, but scared of it. I sigh out loud and grab his hand. He turns in the dark and I can see him looking at me with an unreadable expression.

When he eventually falls asleep, I finally relax and try to breathe. He suddenly moves and turns, getting impossibly closer to me. His arm across my chest, his leg on top of mine and his face in the crook of my neck.

“Baz…” he mumbles and his hand slides under my top, resting on my bare skin.

And then I feel it, his magic entering my body. It’s a low current humming through my skin, like a white noise that lulls me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than expected, I will try to update sooner next time.  
> Please let me know what you think, comments are always appreciated. 💙


	3. Cryptic little notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning woods (oh yes), Dev is an annoying idiot, Latin homework, the Mage is still a colossal jerk and Simon has a nightmare (I’m crap at summaries, let’s face it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to all the people who have left comments and kudos. 💙  
> Please double check the tags, because I have updated them - just in case you’re not comfortable with the smut (if you are not, I think you might be reading the wrong fic, because this is going to be full of smut).

_Our history books refer to it_

_In cryptic little notes,_

_It’s quite a common topic on_

_The Transatlantic boats;_

_I’ve found the subject mentioned in_

_Accounts of suicides,_

_And even seen it scribbled on_

_The backs of railway guides._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Baz**

“Mhhh…Baz…”

My eyes are still closed; it’s early and I can tell the room is dark. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up feeling so warm and safe in my whole life.

I can feel his hot body pressed against my back, his lips are lingering in the soft spot where my chin meets my neck and that small simple contact is sending shivers of pleasure through my spine. He shifts and I can feel his erection pressed against my lower back. He grinds his hips against me, letting out a low groan and then his lips open and he starts kissing my skin.

I gasp, then I feel his hand moving up my leg, resting on my thigh and then venturing up. He palms my hard cock and starts moving impossibly slow.

I want more. I want to feel his skin against mine. I want him so badly.

My hand reaches behind me, finding his hip and pressing him even closer. A soft moan escapes his lips, then his fingers find the hem of my trousers and slide inside. My dick is so hard and I’m desperate for his touch. He clumsily strokes me through the thin fabric of my underwear, while he searches for friction, rocking against me. His breath is so hot on my skin; his tongue licks the same spot he was kissing before and then he starts sucking on it. I feel his magic inside me. It has been a low uninterrupted flow buzzing through my body all night, but now it has spiked up with his desire.

I feel on fire. I want more.

“Simon…more, please…” I say groggily, eyes still shut.

His hand stills and he draws a sharp breath, leaving my body in an instant and nearly jumping to the other side of the bed.

“Fuck!” he says.

My eyes snap open and I realise what we were doing.

Fuck…

**Simon**

Shit, I was touching Baz’s dick!

Oh my god, I’m so ridiculously hard and so was he. And I was touching him.

“Snow…” his eyes look scared and worried.

“I’m going to take a cold shower,” I say getting up and avoiding his gaze as I run to the bathroom.

**Baz**

This is so fucked up. It’s like a dream and a nightmare come true at the same time.

I want him so badly and I finally got to touch him, like I’ve always wished. His body wants me because of the bond, but he clearly still hates me.

Why is my life so bloody pathetic?

This is going to be pure torture, and I have to find a way to break the bond, before it drives me insane.

Or before Simon Snow kills me.

**Simon**

We don’t talk about it. We don’t actually speak at all. We get ready for breakfast, trying to be as quick as we can in the bathroom.

I think Baz is already missing his long morning bathroom routine. I wonder if it usually takes him so long to get ready because he wanks in the shower. I mean, he looks exactly the same, even though he didn’t spend a fraction of the time it usually takes him to get ready. He’s as gorgeous and fit as ever; he even looks better with his hair in soft waves instead of slicked back.

Shit, was I thinking that Baz looks fit?

Fucking bond.

We join the queue in the dining hall, trying not to touch, but ending up doing it anyway. I kind of bump into him as we’re getting a tray and then his arm brushes against mine when I stop to get some food. If it didn’t feel so ridiculously good, I would be freaking out and telling Baz to stay away from me.

Shit, this morning was…I try not to think about it; that’s for the best.

I grab some tea and toast and then Baz walks straight to his usual table and sits in front of his cousin. I follow him, Penny is nowhere in sight and I’m starving.

“Still bonded?” asks Dev when I sit down next to Baz. His hair is dark like Baz’s but shorter. He’s definitely not as good-looking as his cousin, but he is more cheerful than Niall, who seems to be constantly worried about something.

“Were you expecting an overnight miracle?” asks Baz curtly, lifting an eyebrow at him.

“You could have fucked, you know,” says Dev, shrugging.

“What?!” I splutter.

“Rip off the plaster, as they say. Just have one good shag and get rid of the bond. I would have.”

“I’m sure you would…” says Baz pouring some tea.

“B-but…that would be well gay!” I manage to mutter.

Their eyes land on me and there’s a moment of silence. What have I said wrong?

“So what, Snow? Have you never considered gay sex?” asks Dev, looking sly.

I swallow loudly.

“I’ve never really thought about it…” I say, which is the truth.

“Well, luckily for you, Baz has thought about it plenty. And strangely enough, I don’t remember seeing that hickey on his neck yesterday.”

Baz’s hand flies to his neck and I can feel my cheeks getting red.

“ ** _Cat got your tongue_** _!_ ” says Baz, pointing his wand at him.

Niall sits down after a few seconds with a tray full of pastries and two steaming cups of coffee. He hands one to Dev, who stares at him and mouths something quietly, his dark eyes open wide.

“Not again?! What has he done this time?” he asks.

I don’t really know what to say, but Baz looks like he’s fuming and I don’t fancy discussing gay sex over tea and toast anymore. I shrug at Niall and look around, trying to see if Penny has finally arrived.

She sits down next to me after a few minutes, dropping a pile of dusty books on the table and sighing loudly.

“I found these essays on bonds this morning and they might contain some useful chapters,” she informs us briskly, “I can’t find anything with specific spells, because they’re illegal and the school library could not possibly have them. We just have to hope the Coven finds something and Miss Possibelf manages to get her hands on them before the Mage does.”

“Why not the Mage?” I ask, munching on some toast.

“Because he seems to want to break the bond using some random incantation. From what I’ve read, you need a very specific one and if you get it wrong…well, you could end up dead…”

I swallow loudly and we all sit in silence.

“Thanks for doing the research, Bunce. I will grab a few books, if you don’t mind. We are following Snow’s timetable this week and I will have some time to read.”

Baz looks really tense this morning (more than usual, at least). He is avoiding my eyes and I don’t know if I feel relieved of pissed off about it. I move closer, so that my hips are pressed against his and I can see him visibly relax. He tucks a lose strand of hair behind his ear and I find myself staring at him, mesmerised by that simple gesture and wondering what his hair feels like. I think I touched it the night we were in the infirmary, but I can’t remember.

Someone kicks me under the table and I turn to find Dev smirking at me.

For fuck’s sake…

**Baz**

These books are absolutely useless, but I’m not surprised. I’m starting to wonder whether the spell Snow used actually exists or if it’s something he made up on the spot.

This connection he created between us might not even be a bond. It might simply be his magic reacting to my feelings for him. That wouldn’t even surprise me; his magic is ridiculously powerful and I’ve been dizzy with it all morning. He spent the whole night pouring it into me and I feel like I could cast a fucking sonnet right now. It’s a shame I have to sit through a lesson of Magickal Science; I wonder why on earth he picked it as an option.

**Simon**

I’m trying my best to focus on the lesson, but my attention keeps on shifting to what Baz is doing. He’s sitting at the desk to my left; we don’t normally sit next to each other in class and I notice his slanted handwriting is so neat and pretty. Mine’s a mess.

Baz has been reading the books Penny brought this morning, taking cryptic little notes on a blue notepad he got out of his bag. I try to sneak a peek, but he catches me and raises an eyebrow to silently ask what the fuck I think I’m doing.

I honestly have no clue. I just wish I could sit a bit closer to him or touch his arm or something. I’m getting warm and itchy again and he’s just a few centimetres away from me. I move my leg and let my foot rub against his under the desk. He seems to relax and absentmindedly touches his hair again.

This is interesting. Let’s see what kind of reaction I can get from him. I lean closer and my arm slides against his. I can feel his cool skin through the thin fabric of our shirts. He stops writing and closes his eyes.

I move closer so that our shoulders touch, but I need more. I need skin against skin. I pretend to take notes and I let my left hand wander on the desk, until my fingers find his and brush against them, sliding on top of his hand.

He lets out a contented sigh and a very low moan, biting his bottom lip. I feel excited, because I’ve just made Baz Pitch make such a dirty sound just by touching his hand, but then I feel my cock reacting to it and twitching excitedly in my pants.

Fuck, what have I done?

**Baz**

He’s going to be the death of me. How am I supposed to concentrate with Simon Snow touching me and smelling amazing?

He made me moan in class, for fuck’s sake!

I had to move away and then spent the rest of the lesson feeling cold and miserable. I ended up playing footsie with him and he went from smug to embarrassingly turned on in the space of five minutes (I did notice how he readjusted his trousers because his dick was hard).

How am I supposed to find a way to break the bond, if all I can think about is touching him?

**Simon**

By teatime all I can think about is going back to our room to properly touch Baz.

Dev is moping because he still can’t talk and Niall keeps on sighing. Penny’s talking to Baz about the books they’ve read.

“Are you coming to the library to study, Baz?” asks Niall.

“Miss Possibelf wants us to go back to our room after the lessons,” I say.

“Why?” he asks confused.

“In case we try to kill each other, the Anathema is going to protect us.”

“We can go to the library to get some books on bonds. It won’t take long,” says Baz avoiding my eyes.

It takes absolute ages and, in the meantime, I just want to push him against a bookcase and get my hands under his shirt.

Shit, that sounds well gay.

I wish I could wank, but every time I get under the shower, I miss him so much that I have to go back to him as quickly as I can.

**Baz**

When we get back to Mummer’s House, Snow practically runs up the stairs and as soon as I’m in our room, he closes the door and pushes me against the wall.

“There’s no need to be a brute about it…” I complain, but deep down I feel so relieved and turned on.

He grunts, pressing his body against mine and his fingers find their way between the buttons of my shirts, sliding under the fabric and touching my skin. He’s so warm and even this small contact sends a pleasant shiver down my spine.

“Shut up, Baz.”

I do and just enjoy the feeling.

**Simon**

Baz barely eats at dinner, but then I notice that he grabs some food and eats it once we’re outside. He’s walking so fast ahead of me that I nearly have to run to keep up.

He takes me to the catacombs and he hunts. It’s creepy and cold; I don’t know how he does it every evening on his own.

He still won’t let me see his fangs, but I’m sure I’ll manage to convince him.

I just want to go to bed and feel him close to me, so I drag him away as soon as he’s done. He doesn’t protest.

**Baz**

We settle in bed holding hands like yesterday, but this time Snow pretends to fall asleep and then snuggles up closer, letting out a soft moan as his body presses against mine.

I pretend to sleep too and wrap my arm around him, breathing in his smell. Freshly baked cinnamon rolls and bacon.

He’s going to be the death of me.

**Simon**

“I don’t get this! I’ve translated it using the dictionary, but it still doesn’t make any sense.”

I groan and throw my pencil on the desk. Merlin, I hate Latin!

Baz leaves his notes and looks at my book.

“Snow, you can’t translate it word by word. It won’t make any sense. Find the verbs first,” he says patiently.

I grab my pencil again and underline the verbs, Baz hums his approval when I find all of them and then tells me to find the Nominatives and helps me work out the rest of the sentence.

“Wow, you’re better than the teacher at explaining. I never really got it, but now I think I finally understand how the cases work.”

He looks at me in a funny way and I have a feeling that he would blush, if he had enough blood in him.

**Baz**

It’s Thursday and we have made zero progress on our research on bonds. Bunce would make a formidable scholar; she’s been reading all the books she finds, sticking colour coded post-it notes in them and she even wrote summaries for me to look at.

We spend the afternoon comparing notes in the library, while Snow tries to finish his homework and Niall lets Dev copy his, while he reads an essay on bonds in the Middle Ages. He’s been acting strangely lately, but I don’t have a chance to speak to him since I have Snow glued to my side most of the time.

“Any chance Wellbelove might join us with our little research?” asks Dev all of a sudden.

Snow tenses up at my side and Niall frowns.

“Why are you asking?” Snow’s tone is definitely not friendly.

“Just wondering,” says Dev shrugging, “she seemed to be part of your saving-the-world trio and I haven’t seen her around since the beginning of school.”

“They broke up,” says Bunce without even lifting her eyes from the tome she’s reading.

“Interesting,” says Dev, “then she’s free now.”

Snow’s jaw clenches and I can feel him tense up next to me.

“I doubt she would be interested in you,” he says angrily.

“You never know, Snow. Maybe she was fed up with being with the worst Chosen One in the history of magic and now she fancies a change. If your life wasn’t such a disgrace, you could still get a chance, but you’re basically stuck to Baz at the moment.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dev!” I say, realising too late that I’ve raised my voice in the library. Everyone shoots daggers at me (including the librarian).

Snow relaxes instantly and stares at me with raised eyebrows.

“What’s wrong with you, Baz? A few days in a bond with Snow and you’ve gone all fucking soft for him,” Dev accuses me.

He gathers his things and leaves without a word. Bunce keeps on scribbling notes unperturbed. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Niall leaves too and I’m left sitting there, my undead heart beating madly in my chest. Then I feel his hand on mine, under the table.

It’s a light touch, as if he were afraid of what he’s doing. I look at our joint hands and close my eyes, I feel his magic buzzing through me.

**Simon**

I wake up and I can feel his soft hair on my face. It smells sweet and spicy, I slide my hand under his pyjama top, try to unbutton it to get better access. He mumbles something in his sleep and his fingers find mine. My hand roams around his chest, finds his nipple and brushes against it; he makes a delicious sound and then moves closer. I start grinding my hips against him, rubbing my cock against his arse.

I want to feel him. My hand goes lower; his trousers are in the way, so I use both hands to lower them. He starts panting as my fingers slide inside his boxer-shorts and finally find his hard cock. I give him a long stroke and he moans out loud.

“Simon…” my name sounds like a plea on his lips.

I stroke him faster, rocking my hips against him, wishing that we could both be naked. But I’m about to come and I can feel that he’s close too.

“Baz…” I call out his name as I feel the orgasm sending sparks through my body.

**Baz**

I open my eyes as I feel a surge of magic. It’s different from usual, so much stronger, and I realise Snow is coming against me. He’s holding me so tight and I feel his orgasm shaking my body. His scent is making me lightheaded; his hand is wrapped around my cock and he’s still stroking me. Just looking at it makes me lose the little control I have left and I come hard over his fingers with a loud moan.

**Simon**

Fuck, that was the best orgasm of my life. I lie there breathing hard, my eyes still closed and my body recovering from the pleasure. He’s panting in my arms, then makes a small noise and calls my name.

“Simon…”

He says it in such a sweet way, his voice pleading and desperate.

I open my eyes and I suddenly realise what I’ve done.

It’s like a cold shower over my head. I disentangle myself from him and sit up in bed, conscious of the fact that my pants are a sticky mess and my hand is covered in Baz’s come.

“ ** _Clean as a whistle_** ,” he says and his magic is so powerful that I feel like he’s sucking the daylight out of me.

All the evidence is gone, but the shame can’t be cleared with a spell.

His hand tries to reach mine, but I get up and run to the bathroom without a word.

**Baz**

Fuck.

**Simon**

Penny is already having breakfast and I let Baz queue to get some food, sitting down next to her instead. I need to talk to her in private.

“Penny, I need to ask you a question. Can bonds make you gay?”

She looks at me like I’ve grown an extra head overnight.

“What? Of course not, you numpty! Bonds are supposed to make you crave the other’s person touch, but they don’t exactly work in a sexual kind of way. If there’s no chemistry between the two people, it won’t make it appear out of the blue. I’ve been reading this amazing book called ‘ _Bonds Gone Wrong_ ’ and apparently lots of gay people were forced into bonds after ending up in an arranged marriage.”

That’s not the answer I was expecting.

“That sounds awful…”

“Most of them ended up having sex with their spouse anyway, mainly out of despair, since their relatives always refused to break the bond.”

So the bond can’t make me gay, which makes zero sense. Baz seems to be influenced by it too, which makes no sense either.

“Are you one hundred percent sure that bonds can’t make you gay, Penny?”

“Yes, Simon. It would be unheard of. Why are you so worried about it?”

“Just curious,” I say, tugging at my curls.

I suddenly feel the pull of the bond in my stomach and my eyes search for Baz. He’s stuck in the queue and he’s staring back at me, a concerned expression on his face.

“Anyway, it’s finally Saturday and I was hoping we could spend some time in the library to catch up on homework and look for more books. Are you coming after breakfast?”

“Hmm,” I mumble, focusing on grey eyes and pale skin.

I want him again. I feel it deep inside, the desperate need to touch him, to feel his bare skin under my fingers. To have him safe in my arms. To make him make those sounds again.

“I’ll go get some more tea,” says Penny getting up.

“Snow, he’s not going to run away from you, chill out.”

I turn and realise Dev is sitting in front of me, a half-eaten croissant on his plate. Shit, has he heard what Penny and I were discussing?

“I see the way you look at him,” he says with a smug smile.

“How?” I ask, trying to sound confident.

“Like you want to bend him over this table and fuck him senseless.”

My mouth opens and I struggle to find a way to reply. He starts laughing and turns to look at Baz, who is now frowning in our direction and trying to get out of the queue.

“I’ve heard your little heart to heart with Bunce. Have you considered that you might simply be bi?” says Dev, munching on his croissant.

“Bi?”

“As in bisexual. You might simply fancy girls and blokes, there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m bi too.”

“Oh…”

“Well, I’ll tell you what. Since I’m quite fed up with this situation and I want things to get back to normal, I will help you out. Give you some advice on the gay sex front and all that. Merlin knows that my cousin needs a shag, so we get two pigeons with one stone. Baz gets laid and you get rid of the bond. I’ll try to be nicer to you and help you for the time being and you get me a date with Wellbelove, how about that?”

Niall and Penny sit down at the same time and they look at us.

“What were you two talking about?” asks Niall looking suspicious.

“Nothing!” I blurt out.

Baz finally joins us, handing me a plate full of toast with butter and jam and a steaming cup of tea.

I didn’t think he was getting breakfast for me too.

My eyes lock with his and I realise I haven’t said anything to him since last night.

“Thanks,” I mutter.

**Baz**

What in Crowley’s name was Dev telling him? I swear I’m going to punch my cousin; he can be so annoying sometimes.

After breakfast we go to the library, I have a pile of homework to do and I need to continue my research. I end up helping Snow with Greek and Latin again, then I check his essay for English literature and give him some tips on how to improve it. Bunce looks like she’s torn between being relieved and jealous; I think I’ve stolen her job. But Snow’s quite happy with my help, so I don’t care.

He also seems to have decided to ignore what happened this morning and he’s probably simply blaming it on the bond.

“Snow, the Mage wants to talk to you. He’s in the staffroom.”

We turn and Bunce’s brother is standing behind us; he looks like he’s annoyed, like carrying messages to Snow is beneath him.

Snow gets up and I follow him, with Premal leading the way. The staffroom is not far from the library and it only takes us a few minutes to get there. Since it’s Saturday, there are only a few teachers around, marking papers and chatting amicably. Snow spots the Mage and goes inside, but when I try to follow him, Premal blocks the door with his arm.

“He wants to speak to him alone. It will only take a few minutes,” he says.

Snow turns and he look insecure, all of a sudden.

“Simon!” the Mage calls him and his eyes leave mine.

**Simon**

“Simon, my boy. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, Sir.” 

This is strange, I’ve been away from Baz for literally one minute and I already start feeling hot and itchy. I swear the bond was getting easier to handle in the last couple of days.

“I just wanted to know if you have remembered anything about what happened in the Wavering Wood.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. Neither me nor Baz can remember what kind of spell I cast,” I say apologetically.

“Don’t trust the Pitch boy, Simon. He tried to convince us that it was you casting it, but I strongly believe it was him. The Old Families have been creating a lot of problems lately, especially since they were asked to give us their books on bonds. I know this is all a ruse to weaken our side.”

“But Sir, it can’t have been Baz casting the binding spell. He doesn’t have enough magic. Miss Possibelf said so herself.”

I feel my skin burning, as if I had a million tiny flames setting it on fire. I try to catch Baz’s eyes, since that usually helps when we’re apart for a little while, but Premal is blocking the way. I can’t see Baz, I can hear his voice though and I feel that he’s getting angry. He sounds scared.

“Let me in, Bunce!” he shouts.

“You need to keep an eye on him, Simon. Never trust him, because this is all a plot. I bet Malcom Grimm-Pitch is behind this.”

“I don’t know, Sir…” I tilt my head to try to see what’s going on outside of the staffroom. My insides feel like lava, the pull in my stomach is so strong that I think I’m going to be sick. I feel a wave of nausea and I close my eyes for a few seconds and try to focus on breathing. I don’t want to be sick in the staffroom or, worse, on the Mage.

“Sir, I’m sorry but I’m not feeling well, I think I should return to Baz…”

“Simon, the Humdrum is still out there and we need you to get out of this bond to be able to fight. I know a spell that should work, but you need to convince the Pitch boy to let me use it.”

If I open my mouth, I’m going to puke. I’m sweating so much; I look at my arms and they’re covered in tiny blisters.

Fuck, what’s going on?

“ ** _Out of the way_** _!_ ” booms Baz’s voice.

He barges in, grabs my hand and drags me out of the room. I can hear the Mage protesting behind me, but all I can focus on is Baz’s cool hand holding mine.

**Baz**

I grab his hand and drag him into the first empty classroom that I can find. I close the door behind us and press my body against his. His breathing seems to eventually slow down and he practically hugs me, resting his forehead against my shoulder.

His arms are covered in little blisters, mine have tiny icicles on them.

“Take your shirt off,” he mumbles against me.

“Snow, we’re in a classroom.”

“Take your fucking shirt off or I swear I’ll do it!”

I do as he says and he nearly rips his uniform in attempt to remove it as fast as he can. He lets out a gasp when our bare chests collide and his hands wonder around my back.

I know this feeling. It’s like sinking into a hot bath after spending an afternoon playing in the snow.

“Shit, I thought I was going to puke on the staffroom carpet,” he mutters.

“I’m going to kill the Mage. What was so important to discuss that was worth making you so unwell?” I ask, losing my temper.

“It’s none of your business,” he simply says.

“It fucking is! Because in case you haven’t noticed, I was covered in ice and I was about to pass out in the corridor! Besides, he’s a twat.”

“Don’t talk about the Mage like that!” he pushes me away and glares at me, looking like he might punch me any second.

“Snow, he’s willing to put your life in danger for some of his petty schemes! Open your eyes for once, he doesn’t have your best interest at heart!” I shout at him.

“What, because you do?” he spits at me. “You’ve spent the past seven years trying to kill me and now you’re trying to tell me not to trust him just because we’re stuck together!”

“It’s not…I don’t want you to get hurt!”

There, I’ve said it. Bloody bond, forcing me to show my fucking feelings.

“Sure, because if I get hurt, you do too.”

“No, that’s not it!”

He starts putting his shirt back on and waits for me to do the same. We leave the classroom in silence and go back to the library.

I feel like smashing a wall. I feel like running away screaming. But I’m stuck here and there’s nothing I can do. 

**Simon**

We head to the catacombs after dinner, then we go back to Mummer’s House and sit at our desks, reading in silence.

Trouble is I’ve been reading the same paragraph for twenty minutes and all I can think about is what happened with the Mage. I’m still pissed off, but I don’t know if I’m mad at Baz or if I’m angry at myself.

Because I can’t shake off the feeling that what he said was right. What if he was telling the truth?

I try to think about something else. About Penny’s words this morning in the dining hall. And about what Dev said too.

I don’t want him to go out with Agatha, but I realise that it’s not because I want to go back with her. I simply want to punch Dev in the face, he’s such an annoying git. Plus, that would be unfair on Agatha; it would feel like using her. But I want to know more about Baz and…well, gay sex. It’s not like I can ask Penny about it and I can’t google anything because there’s no internet connection here. Maybe I should speak to Aggie…

“Snow, I’m a bit tired. Do you mind going to bed?”

I almost jump when he speaks, feeling guilty about what I was thinking.

Shit, I’m the one plotting this time.

**Baz**

I wake up in the middle of the night, feeling him thrashing about on his side of the bed. He’s whimpering and there are tears on his face, he seems to be mumbling something, but I can’t understand what.

Then I realise he’s calling my name.

I immediately grab his arm and pull him closer, tucking his head under my chin and hugging him tight.

“Shhh, it’s just a bad dream,” I whisper in his ear.

A loud sob escapes his lips and his arm circles my waist, his hand grabbing my pyjama top. His leg moves over mine and he lets me stroke his curls. They’re so soft and smell like school soap, like smoke and that peculiar Simon Snow smell that I love so much.

“It’s ok, everything is going to be fine. I’ve got you,” I tell him soothingly.

He takes a deep breath and I realise he’s woken up. I freeze and expect him to push me away, but instead he snuggles up even closer, with his arm around my back and his lips pressed to my neck.

“Baz…he was there…”

“Who?” I whisper.

“The Humdrum. He was there and he was playing with that bloody red ball, looking like me.”

“What?” I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“The Humdrum looks like me, like an eleven-year-old version of me. Penny and I saw him last summer, when he took us.”

“Oh…”

What?! The Humdrum looks like Simon Snow? What kind of sick joke is this?

“He was there and Penny was nowhere to be seen. Then you were lying at his feet and you weren’t moving.” He sounds like he’s panicking again, as if the thought of me being dead could be distressing for him. He must still be half-asleep.

“I kept on calling your name, but you weren’t moving. I thought you…I thought you were dead,” he says and his voice breaks.

“Well, I’m already kind of dead, to be fair…” I say, trying to lighten up the mood. It doesn’t work, he simply clings to me and hides his face in my chest. I stroke his hair and wait for him to calm down.

“It was just a dream, Simon.”

His name escapes my lips. Somehow it feels wrong to call him by his surname, when we’re hugging in the dark and he’s so close to me. He whimpers quietly and his hand slides under my top, making me shudder as I feel his warm fingers on my bare skin.

And then, without thinking, I place a soft kiss on his forehead. He raises his face and his eyes meet mine in the dark. I don’t think he can see me as well as I can, but the curtains are open and there’s a full moon, so there is a faint light.

“No one has ever kissed me there before…” he says softly.

I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces.

“Not even Wellbelove?” I blurt out, my voice thick. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with the world, if he’s never been kissed there? Simon Snow deserves to be kissed everywhere.

He shakes his head and I can’t help but kiss him in the same spot again. And again.

He curls up in my arms and closes his eyes. His breathing becomes more regular, until he falls asleep.

I love him so much.

I’m irretrievably and truly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to finish the chapter on a smutty scene, but it was getting too long, so the smut has been moved to the next chapter.  
> Comments and kudos are always super appreciated, please let me know what you think, even if it’s “we wanted more smut, you evil monster!” or “this chapter sucked!” or even “is there going to be more Latin?” (because the answer is YES).


	4. Classical stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More morning woods, a walk of shame, a fight, Latin homework (again? Yes, I had to study Latin for five years, it had to come in handy at least for a fic) and some shooting stars. I know my summaries make no sense, sorry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virtual hugs and a massive thank you to all the people who have left comments and kudos. I’m so sorry this chapter took so long, in my defence it’s quite long and smutty (which is why it took me ages to write it). I hope you enjoy it!

_Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,_

_Or boom like a military band?_

_Could one give a first-rate imitation_

_On a saw or a Steinway Grand?_

_Is its singing at parties a riot?_

_Does it only like Classical stuff?_

_Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?_

_O tell me the truth about love._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

This time I wake up before I do something embarrassing. I’m rock hard though, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening every morning. Is it because of the bond? Or is it because I’m waking up in Baz’s arms? Before we got stuck together, I had never slept with anyone else and I had no idea how amazing it feels. To have his arms around me, his fingers curled up under my t-shirt, his lips still lingering on my forehead, his legs tangled up with mine and his soft breath making me feel so calm.

I’ve never felt like this before.

We’re lying on our sides and he’s holding me close; my face is buried in his neck. I move a bit, trying not to wake him up. I wonder if I should try to have a quick wank in the shower, but then I think about the other times I tried and the horrible feeling of being separated from Baz.

My hand is nestled under his pyjama top, resting on his waist. He feels much warmer than usual and he smells so nice. I move my hand and he mumbles softly in his sleep. I palm my cock through my tracksuit bottoms and try to be as quiet as I can. I lower my trousers and slide my hand inside my pants. I stifle a moan as I grab my dick and start stroking it slowly.

Fuck, this feel so good. I bite my lips, trying not to make any sound. I close my eyes and inhale; Baz’s smell makes me lightheaded. I start moving my hand faster, all nerve endings on fire and then Baz shifts and takes a deep breath.

I open my eyes and I find him staring at me, grey eyes half-lidded with sleep until he realises what I’m doing. He looks at my hand on my cock and makes a soft sound, almost like a whimper.

“Fuck…” I mumble.

“Do you want me to leave?” he whispers, his eyes focussed on my hand, apparently mesmerised by the sight.

“I-I…” I don’t know what to say, then a quiet _no_ escapes my lips.

I don’t want him to leave.

“Close your eyes,” he suggests and, for once, I do as he says.

I take a deep breath and start moving again. I’m surprised by how hard I still am; I’m pretty sure getting caught wanking by your sworn enemy shouldn’t be such a turn on.

Maybe it’s all because of the bond. I decide not to think about it and focus on how fantastic it feels instead. Touching myself while being held, with Baz’s soft breath against my forehead, my face buried in his neck, the smell of his hair filling my nostrils.

I moan and I already feel my toes curling; a part of me wishes for more. More skin, more contact, more Baz.

“Snow…can I…”

I open my eyes and I notice that Baz is touching the front of his silky pyjama bottoms and he’s as hard as I am.

Shit, is he asking me for permission to touch himself? I suddenly feel even more turned on, and I don’t even know why.

I wonder what would happen if I said no.

But then I nod, because it feels unfair if I’m the only one getting off. A little voice in my head says it’s also because I want to see Baz coming undone, moaning and panting as he comes.

I want to see him lose control. 

He lowers his clothes in one swift move and his cock bounces out of his boxers.

“Fuck…”

“Are you still ok with this?” he asks, freezing.

“Y-you…fuck off, Baz! Even your cock looks perfect. And it figures, it’s bigger than mine.”

He chuckles and runs his elegant fingers along the shaft, then gasps softly as he presses his thumb along the slit and then moves it to twist his hand around the head of his cock.

“Has no one told you that it’s not – _ahh_ \- about the size, but it’s how you use it?” he says with the hint of a smile.

He stops and licks his hand, then grabs his wand from under the pillow and casts **_Slippery when wet_**. I’ve never heard of this spell before, but it clearly looks like an improvement, but the way Baz whimpers while he strokes his cock in bliss.

“What spell was that?” I ask.

“Give me your hand,” he simply says. I hesitate, then curiosity gets the best of me and I lift my hand towards him. He holds my wrist and then his eyes lock with mine, as his tongue runs along my palm. I feel my dick twitching excitedly and I can’t help but groan. How the fuck is this so unbelievably hot? Baz casts the same spell again and I finally get it; it’s lube. I start touching myself again and it feels so brilliant that I doubt I will last long.

I don’t know if I should close my eyes again now (would that be polite? What the fuck is the code of conduct for wanking with someone?), but I decide to keep them open and just take it all in. His long fingers running up and down his cock in a confident way, his dark eyelashes and the hungry look he’s giving me, the way his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth, the precome on the tip of his perfect cock.

He increases the pace and I start doing the same, trying to follow the same rhythm.

“Simon…” the way he calls my name, almost like a desperate moan, makes me lose the little control I had left and I come with a groan, trying to bury my face in the crook of his neck. I feel my magic leaving me, like a wave and I pour it into Baz, who gasps and tips over the edge, making a sound that makes me feel like coming again and again.

There’s come on our hands and cocks and I realised that some of mine has ended up on him.

Fuck…

He looks at me and his eyes are so soft that I think I might shatter. I suddenly feel so vulnerable under his stare, my softened dick still in my hand and a terrible blush creeping up my face.

Why is he looking at me like that?

“I’m not gay,” I feel the need to say.

Baz’s eyebrows go up on his face and he blinks a few times.

“No one cares whether you’re gay, Snow.”

His tone is suddenly so cold that I feel like hiding under the blanket and going back to sleep. I get up and go get washed instead.

**Baz**

Fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I think I’ve just somehow managed to push Snow to wank with me.

I was practically about to kiss him and he looked so embarrassed.

This needs to stop; I can’t continue pretending there’s something that simply isn’t there. Snow was just sexually frustrated because we’re always glued together and he can’t even masturbate in peace.

I need to find a way out of this. It has already been nearly two weeks and we have made zero progress.

Thankfully today is Saturday, so we get time to do more research in the library.

**Simon**

I hate that it’s Saturday; I don’t even get the distraction of going to class. I’m so behind on school work (it turns out following Baz’s timetable is harder than I thought) and I’m going to be stuck in the library all day.

We’re really late for breakfast because we both have to shower and Baz barely eats anything. Dev and Niall look at us in a funny way, then they look at each other and Niall frowns.

“What’s up with you two?” he asks.

“Nothing, why?” I ask, feeling under the spot. Can they tell that we wanked together by the way we look?

“You look more awkward than usual…” he mutters.

Dev starts grinning and points his finger at me.

“Snow, you bastard! What did you do? You have that ‘walk of shame’ look on your face.”

He clearly finds it hilarious and I start blushing and stuttering, while Baz simply frowns and then raises an elegant eyebrow at his cousin.

“Dev, stop messing with him. He hasn’t done anything; we were just late for breakfast and he didn’t manage to get enough food.”

I can see from the look on Dev’s face that he didn’t buy any of that.

“Snow, my offer still stands,” he says, winking at me.

“What offer?” asks Niall as Baz turns to glare at his cousin.

“It’s between Snow and me; you mind your own business.”

Shit.

**Baz**

What the fuck is my cousin plotting behind my back? Snow looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s been constantly giving me his magic, he would have probably gone off.

Bunce joins us at the library and she takes Snow a side to have a quick chat with him. I think she’s getting worried that he might lose the plot, since he’s no longer under her constant supervision.

Just before lunch Premal makes an appearance again and says that the Mage wants to see Snow, this time in his office. We get our bags and promise to see the others at lunch. As I follow them, I can’t help but notice that Snow looks nervous.

“I’m coming in with you this time,” I say.

He’s still feeling awkward from this morning, but there’s no way I’m letting the Mage treat him the way he did last time.

“There’s no need to, Baz. I’m sure it’s going to be a quick thing.”

When we get there, Premal tries to block my way again, but Snow grabs my arm and pushes some of his magic into me. A simple **_Out of the way_** sends Premal flying down the corridor.

I guess Snow changed his mind about having me there, then. The Mage doesn’t look happy to see me, that goes without saying.

**Simon**

“Simon, have you thought about the little chat we had last time?”

Shit, I did not.

Baz is standing next to me, tall and straight (how does he always manage to look like a fucking model? It’s infuriating). He’s looking around the room with an unreadable expression on his face. He seems to be checking that everything is in order.

I suddenly remember that this used to be his mother’s office. I wonder if he’s been here before.

“Any progress?” asks again the Mage.

“No, sir. Sorry…”

I didn’t even ask Baz if he wanted the Mage to break our bond; there was no way he was going to say yes and we would have ended up fighting again.

“You will be happy to know that the Old Families are finally cooperating and we have gathered quite a few important books. Miss Possibelf is studying them and will hopefully find a counter spell,” says the Mage.

“The Old Families are handing them in simply because my father asked them to,” says Baz, suddenly meeting the Mage’s gaze.

“I’m sure they would have done it anyway; they just needed a bit of convincing.”

“If by ‘ _convincing_ ’ you mean raiding their homes, as you tried to do, then I’m sure you will find they were not exactly cooperating.”

I can feel the tension in the air and I think about something to say to distract them. They’re both glaring at each other and Baz is gripping his wand so tight that his knuckles have gone white.

“Well, i-if that’s everything, sir…then, we need to go and have lunch…” The Mage nods at me and then I grab Baz’s arm and practically drag him out.

Why does he have to be so fucking impossible all the time?

I walk ahead of him and as soon as we enter the main school building, I find an empty classroom and push him in.

“Why the fuck do you always have to antagonise him?” I shout at him.

“What?!” he seems furious.

“He’s just trying to help us and you’re treating him like some kind of mad dictator.”

“Because that’s what he is, Snow! Did you know he’s been raiding houses with the excuse of finding the books and he’s been taking family possessions instead?”

“What? How do you know that?” I ask, feeling confused.

“My father wrote it in the letter he sent me the other day. He had to speak with the Coven to ask for help, because the Old Families were hiding the books on purpose.”

“They’re just helping your father because _you_ are involved. They would gladly let me die…” I mutter.

“But _I_ would not!” he shouts, nearly out of breath.

His hair is in his eyes, he hasn’t been slicking it back lately. He looks desperate, angry and somehow upset and I have no idea what I’ve done to make him look like this.

“As if…” I mutter, “as far as I know, you’ve been plotting and this is actually some twisted sick plan the Old Families have come up with just to end me.”

I don’t actually believe that, but I still say it out of habit.

“Snow, do you think I’m enjoying this? I’ve had to give up my timetable, my space in the football team and my friends.”

I realise just now that in the past two weeks I’ve never heard him complain. Not even once.

“Snow, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve spent the past two weeks trying to find a way to break this bloody bond.”

“That’s just because you don’t want to die…”

“How blind can you be?” he asks, then he lowers his voice, “I’m a vampire; I strongly doubt this could kill me. I would probably end up in a lot of pain, but I won’t die. I’m already dead.”

I stare at him in surprise. I hadn’t thought about that…

“B-but…”

“But _you_ could die and I don’t want that to happen,” he says calmly. And his hand finally rests on my arm and I close my eyes, because we haven’t properly touched since we left the library and this feels like heaven. Like being wrapped in a soft cosy blanket. One that smells like Baz.

“You’re going to kill me as soon as you get out of the bond…” I mutter.

“No, I’m not.”

How does he sound so confident?

“I can’t trust you,” I say.

“Snow, do you realise that my life is in your hands and not the other way around?”

I stare at him and he looks like he might fall apart.

“You know that I’m a vampire and you have proof. One word to the Mage or anyone else and I’m done for. My life would be over. Even if we manage to get rid of the bond, you would still be in control.”

**Baz**

His eyes meet mine and we spend a few minutes in silence. Then his fingers curl around my wrist and tentatively stroke my skin there. Crowley, he’s so warm.

“I would never do that and you know it,” he says with a fierce gaze.

And I decide to allow myself to believe him.

“So, we agree that we’re on the same team then.”

His hand leaves my wrist as he offers it to me.

“Truce?” he asks. I grab his hand and hold it for what feels like an eternity.

“Truce.”

**Simon**

“Are you friends with Cook Pritchard?”

“Yes, why?” he asks as we make our way to the Dining Hall.

“We could grab some food and eat in our room. You barely ate anything at breakfast and I know you won’t eat in front of other people. We could also do with an afternoon off…”

He gives me an odd look. I don’t know how to interpret it, but I follow him to the kitchens, where we are given an impressive amount of food, and then we head back to Mummers House.

“We could go and kick a football this afternoon, if you want.” I suggest, eating one of the most delicious steak and ale pies I’ve ever tasted in my life.

“I suspect my friends and yours would have our heads, if they found out that we were playing football while they were spending the afternoon doing research to break our bond.”

“Good point. This mash is to die for!”

“Close your mouth when you’re eating, Snow. You’re not a wild animal.”

He’s still covering his mouth with his hand; I think he’s afraid I might see his fangs. At least now he’s eating in front of me, so that’s progress.

“Hmm…what about your violin?”

“What about it?”

“You could play it. You haven’t touched it since the beginning of the year. I know you like playing and you probably need practice.”

“I don’t think I can concentrate enough unless…I mean…never mind,” he says, looking embarrassed.

“Unless we’re touching?” I finish his sentence. He looks at me and nods.

“I’m sure we can sort that out.”

**Baz**

I can’t believe I agreed to this. I am standing next to the bed, my violin propped under my chin, as Snow lies on the floor. His bare feet are touching mine and he smiles at me, looking all pleased with himself.

“I don’t think this is going to work.”

“It’s going to be fine. We’re touching.”

“But you’re on the floor!” I try to protest.

“I’m going to read a book, ok? I’ve got this essay I need to finish for Political Science and I’m not going to pay attention to you, so just play.”

Easier said than done; I feel under scrutiny.

I’m a bit rusty and I don’t usually play in front of other people, so I keep on making mistakes. But then Snow’s feet start moving up my ankles and I feel a faint flow of his magic sliding into me and I relax instantly.

I play my favourite pieces and after a while I realise that he’s not reading anymore, he’s listening to me.

“The last one was nice. I’ve got no clue what it was, but I liked it.”

“What did you like about it?” I ask.

“Baz, I know fuck-all about music…”

“You don’t need to know anything about music to answer my question,” I say patiently.

“I suppose…I like the fact that it was sad, but it was still beautiful and tender.”

I chose it because it makes me think of him.

“Like when you love someone, even though it hurts...”

“Yes, kind of.”

Aleister Crowley, I love him so much.

**Simon**

Baz wants to help me with my Latin homework after he’s done playing. I’ve translated my poem earlier in the library, but it makes no sense. Again.

We sit at our joined desks and I show him my book.

“Which poem did you have to translate?”

“’ _Odi et amo_ ’ by Catullus.”

His eyes open wide and he reads my notes, frowning.

“Snow, you’ve managed to butcher one of my favourite poems! And your handwriting is illegible.”

“Baz, you’re such a swot! How can you have a Latin poem as one of your favourites?”

“We’re talking about Catullus here,” he protests. I have no clue what he’s on about.

“Ok, remember what I told you last time?”

“Yes, find the verbs first.”

I circle them and he shakes his head.

“You left out the first one, just because it doesn’t end with an ‘o’, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a verb in the first person.”

He helps me work out the rest of the sentence, his fingers flicking through the pages of his Latin dictionary at the speed of light, showing me the words I’m looking for with an excited look on his face.

“Ok, read it out loud now. In Latin first, you can practise your pronunciation.”

“ _Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio, et excrucior_.”

“Not bad. The translation now.”

“ _I hate and I love. You may wonder why I do this. I do not know, but I feel it happening and I am tortured_.”

I stare at the words on the page as they sink in. It makes sense now, but somehow, I’m more confused than I was before.

Why is this one of his favourite poems?

**Simon**

We skip tea and grab some food again from the kitchens for dinner, then we go to the catacombs and I help Baz hunt for rats. I bet they taste awful; I wish we could hunt in the Wood.

When we get back to our room, I’m not feeling tired and we decide to sit on our joined beds, back to back, to read for a while, sharing a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. I can’t concentrate on what I’m reading though; my mind keeps on going back to our conversations today. To the way he was looking at me throughout the day. To that poem.

“Baz?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

He tenses up behind me, but doesn’t change his position.

“You may.”

“Why are you suddenly so nice to me?”

He pauses for a moment, then turns and looks at me.

“Did you prefer when I was a dick to you?”

“No…but you can’t answer a question with a question, that’s cheating!”

He smiles and I realise it’s the first time he’s actually smiled at me. Not a smirk, not one of his superior sneers. A genuine smile.

“Do you want to play a game?”

“What kind of game?” I ask suspiciously.

“A question for a question; it’s simple. If either of us refuses to answer, the game ends.”

I swallow loudly. What if he asks me about this morning?

“Ok…” I agree.

“To answer your question, I’ve been nice because I don’t feel like being mean anymore. It’s probably down to the bond,” he says.

But Miss Possibelf said the bond cannot change your feelings and Penny confirmed. Weird…is Baz lying to me?

“Ok, my turn,” he says before I can argue, “what were you and Dev talking about this morning?”

“He…well, he wants a date with Agatha.”

“Oh…are you going to arrange it?”

“I doubt she’s interested in him; besides we’re not actually talking to each other at the moment.”

“I’m sorry she broke up with you,” he says avoiding my eyes and playing with my blanket.

“It’s probably for the best, we were not meant to be.”

His grey eyes lock with mine and I feel the bond pulling me towards him. I change position and sit opposite him, my legs bracketing his and my bare feet under his thighs.

“My turn, I…I was wondering…Dev once said that you’ve been thinking about it plenty. What did he mean?”

“Thinking about what?”

“G-gay sex…”

“Oh…well, that’s because I’m gay.”

I supposed I should have expected this, but still end up gaping at him and turning red.

So if Baz is gay, that explains why he is ok with what we did this morning. It still doesn’t explain why _I_ basically dry-humped him last week and I wanked in his arms this morning.

“Are you ok with it?” he asks looking insecure (which is something I’ve never seen him do before).

“Sure, I’m just a bit surprised,” I say.

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

“Your magic,” he says after what feels like ages, “this morning, you transferred a lot of it into me.”

“Sorry about that, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“You’ve been giving me your magic every night,” he says softly.

“What? I didn’t realise! Maybe that’s why I’ve actually been ok with it all week, I’ve been giving you some of my excess magic.”

“How much have you got? I mean, you should be drained by now, but you look absolutely fine.”

“It’s constantly trying to come out, or at least it used to. Would you like me to try giving you some now?” I ask (and I don’t know whose turn to ask questions it is anymore, but I don’t think it matters).

I hold my hands out to him and he grabs them. I close my eyes and focus on pushing a lot of my magic into him. It’s easier than I think, I just feel it flowing freely, like a stream that runs from by body into Baz’s. I can feel him shaking with it, a whimper leaving his mouth and I suddenly worry that I’m hurting him.

“Are you ok?”

“Fuck, Snow! How much magic do you have? I could cast pretty much anything right now.”

“What does it feel like?” I ask.

“Like I’m bigger on the inside, like electrical sparks catching into flames,” he pauses, “like having infinity in my chest pocket.”

“Does it hurt?” I worry

“It was uncomfortable at the beginning, now it’s like I have flames in my blood.”

“Try to cast something.”

He’s quiet for a minute, closes his eyes and then starts speaking loud and clear.

“ **Star light, star bright; First star I see tonight** ,” he says, “ **I wish I may, I wish I might; Have this wish I wish tonight**.”

The light goes out and our room suddenly turns dark. A shooting star appears above us, so close that we could touch it. I hold my breath as another star appears and then another one, leaving bright streaks of light behind them.

Baz opens his eyes and starts giggling.

“So much power. So many stars.”

He sounds on drugs, a big smile on his face and his eyes bright and excited.

“Make a wish,” I whisper.

“I feel kind of drunk, Snow.”

“What did you wish for?”

“Hm?”

“Your spell, it was about a wish. What was it?”

“Peace on earth.”

“Come on, Baz.”

“It’s not your turn to ask a question.”

“I’m going to pull back now.”

I draw my magic back; I think about the tide going out and feel it filling my body again.

“Are you all right?” I ask him.

“Yeah.”

The stars disappear and the light comes back on.

“Wow…” says Baz, a smile lingering on his face.

“Baz, can I see your fangs?” I ask, taking advantage of the fact that he looks in a great mood (and frankly quite high).

“That’s not a question, that’s a request.”

“Will you?”

“If I do, I have a request of my own,” he smirks at me.

“All right,” I say.

He pauses for a moment, his hands still linked to mine. Then he opens his mouth wide and I can see it’s full of sharp teeth.

“Wicked,” I whisper, “can I touch them?”

“Are you out of your mind, Snow?” he says and he sounds almost like he’s lisping.

He seems to be concentrating on something for a few minutes and when he opens his mouth again, it’s all back to normal.

“Where do they go when you’re not using them?”

“Why do you care?”

“I’m just curious,” I shrug.

“Ok, my turn. I want to see your moles.”

“What?” I ask in disbelief.

“I did what you asked for. I want to see your moles now.”

“Baz, I’m full of them, literally everywhere.”

His grey eyes lock with mine and he looks really serious, all of a sudden. I don’t think he’s going to back down.

I sigh and take my shirt off. I feel very conscious about the fact that I’m too skinny; I’ve been back to Watford for two weeks and I still look famished. My ribs and my collarbones are sticking out and I’m hard to the touch. Baz suddenly looks like he’s about to attack me, a hungry look in his eyes. He won’t break my gaze and I feel almost trapped by his eyes.

Shit, is he planning on biting me?

**Baz**

He’s got moles everywhere; I trace them with my fingertips and I marvel at their shapes and colour. I wonder if I could find constellations on his skin, if I connected them. I start on his chest and move down to his belly (it turns out he’s quite ticklish and starts giggling when I touch his side, which I find so adorable).

His shoulders are peppered with freckles; I want to kiss them; I wish I could do it when he falls asleep in my arms. I move closer and his cheeks turn red, the flush spreading to his neck.

“Relax, I won’t hurt you.”

I move behind him to examine his back, my cold fingers brushing his warm skin, tracing his spine all the way down. The contact makes us both shiver; I’m still humming with his magic and I feel on fire. I trace the hem of his trousers and swallow.

“Do you have any on your legs?” I ask, trying to sound calm, but feeling like I have a storm in my stomach.

“I have them everywhere…”

“I can…I can answer another one of your questions, if you show me.”

He pauses for a minute and I think he’s about to tell me to fuck off, when he moves and takes his trousers off.

I sit opposite him and start from his feet; they’re surprisingly graceful and soft as I caress them. I move up his ankles, there’s a mole under his bone on the left one, a bruise on his calf. He doesn’t have much hair on his legs and his knees are slightly knobbly, but I love them all the same. I can feel his heart beating louder in his chest, as I move up his legs, closer to his groin.

“Do you…do you want to touch me?” he asks so quietly that I nearly miss it.

“Yes…” I whisper, my mouth going dry, “all the time.”

He closes his eyes and swallows; his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down his neck. Crowley, how I want to bite him there and taste his blood.

“I-I…” he starts, then pauses with a frown. “You can, if you want…”

And I’m not sure if he’s giving me permission to touch him. And where.

“Snow…”

“You called me Simon before.”

“No, I didn’t,” because I’m sure I did, but I suddenly feel embarrassed about it.

“You did this morning…I liked it.”

I look down and I can see that he’s hard, his bulging erection barely hidden by his boxer-shorts. I want to touch him there; I want to feel his dick in my hand and I want him to make those delicious sounds that escaped his lips this morning in this bed. In our bed.

“Do you have any moles…there?”

“I told you, they’re everywhere…do you want to see?” he says in a whisper.

I don’t know how I manage to answer _yes_ , that Crowley I want to see all of them. I want to map his skin with my hands; I want to be the only one who knows where all his freckles, moles and bruises are. Someone might call them imperfections, but he’s so bloody perfect to me.

The lights go off, all of a sudden. He must have turned them off with his magic. I hear a rustling of soft fabric against skin and the sound of his underwear hitting the floor.

The curtains are open and the moon is nearly full; there’s enough light for him to see me and he knows I can see in the dark anyway. I don’t allow my gaze to shift down, I keep my eyes locked with his instead.

“You’re wearing too many clothes. This is not fair,” he says.

I undress quickly, trying not to think about how drunk on his magic I still feel, about how this is probably wrong and I’m going to regret it in the morning.

He’s looking at me, I don’t know how much he can see, but he’s tugging on his curls and his eyes are open wide. I take off my underwear and then sit in front of him; my legs slide under his thighs, so that my feet circle his hips. His breath hitches, as my cold skin rests against his.

I finally allow myself to really look at him, at his hard dick, at his balls resting on the blanket. There are freckles on the inside of his thighs and a tiny dark mole at the base of his cock. It’s slightly smaller than mine, but thicker. I raise my eyes and find him staring at me; his hands suddenly move and he doesn’t seem to know what to do with them.

“C-can I…?” he asks, “can…w-we?”

I nod and I put both of my hands on his knees, then slowly slide them down and my fingers brush against the soft skin of his upper thighs. He closes his eyes as I let my fingertips gently touch the inside of his thigh, then run along his length; I can almost feel the shiver running down his spine as he shudders under my hands. My fingers curl around his shaft and he lets out a soft gasp when I start stroking him at a slow pace. And it’s weird and unusual, touching someone else there, but it also feels exhilarating and mind-blowing, because I’ve dreamed about this for so long. I wished for years that Simon Snow could be the first person I get to touch, not some random stranger, but him. Just him. He’s the only one I’ve ever wanted.

“Baz…have you ever done this before?” he asks.

“No, you?”

“No…Agatha and I just kissed…”

His hand blindly moves and bumps against my leg, then he mirrors my movements and he puts both hands on my knees, but instead of moving down, he grabs me and pulls me closer to him.

“You’re too far away,” he explains.

I move even closer and our dicks suddenly touch and we both gasp, all motion stopping for a moment. We’re both breathing hard; he’s staring at me, at us, I can feel his heart beating madly in his chest, his magic starts flowing into me again and I moan softly. The magic spikes up and he chuckles when I can’t suppress another moan, louder this time.

“What was that spell you used the other time? The hand licking one?” he asks.

I cast **_Slippery when wet_** on my hand and then he offers me his hand. I hold it and run my tongue on his palm, making him swear under his breath. I would like to lick something else, if only I could…

I place my fingers back on his cock and start stroking him again, when I feel his warm hands tentatively roam along my leg, and then brush against my prick. His breath catches in his throat when I look at him and I stop moving too.

“You don’t have to touch me, you know?” I say, trying to give him a way out. Because I’m craving his touch, but I know he’s not gay and he wouldn’t be doing this, if it weren’t for the bond.

“No, I…I want to…” he whispers.

And his hand is suddenly on me again and I cry out in surprise, because Simon Snow doesn’t do anything half-heartedly. He gives me one long stroke and then starts sliding his hand up and down my cock at a fast pace (he probably normally wanks like he has not time to waste) and Aleister fucking Crowley he’s going to kill me.

I hold his gaze as I am falling apart under his touch. I continue stroking him and he involuntarily arches up against me, whimpering softly.

“What…what did you wish for earlier?” he asks again, because he’s bloody relentless.

“This,” I finally admit, “I just wanted to touch you…”

He groans and pushes some more magic into me, this time I can feel it through my cock, where his hand is holding me so tight and I whimper.

“Fuck, Snow! You’re going to make me come like that…”

“Call me Simon…”

Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my whole life, I feel like I’m unravelling under his touch and he’s looking at me, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he tries not to make any sound. I want him to be loud, I want him to moan my name as he comes.

But instead he pushes more magic into me and I feel like I can’t hold my orgasm any longer.

“Fuck, Simon…aaah, I’m going to…”

The lights suddenly go on again and I’m blinded for a few seconds. I let go of him, then I see his blue eyes staring at me, the hint of a grin on his lips.

“Christ, Baz, you’re so hot…I want to see.”

“What?” I manage to mumble, his hands nearly bringing me over the edge again.

“I want to see you come apart…” he says.

And I do. I come apart under his touch. I close my eyes and moan his name, spilling hard all over myself and his fingers, trying to catch my breath.

I dare to open my eyes after a few seconds and I find him staring at me, touching himself as he gives me this hungry look, that I don’t know how to interpret.

“Fuck, Baz, look at you…”

I search for my wand to clean the mess I’ve made, but he stops me.

“Not yet,” he murmurs.

And before I can think of what I’m doing, I’m pushing him down onto the mattress, climbing over him, my knees bracketing his hips. My hands brush away his to resume my stroking. He moans as I gently cup his balls, my fingertip running along his perineum.

My lips are only a few inches away from his, brushing but not quite touching. I want so badly to kiss him, but I feel that I can’t. That I would be taking too much from him, that I’ve already taken enough. So I kiss his neck, instead. I suck on his soft skin, breathing in his smoky smell and making him whimper and babble nonsense. I open my mouth and catch his earlobe, sucking on it. Then I whisper in his ear.

“Come for me, Simon,” and he spills hard in my hand and on his belly.

I let go of him and I lean back, sitting on my bottom. I suddenly feel really naked and dirty, covered in my own come, my cock now soft between my legs. Snow is still looking at me, trying to catch his breath, his cheeks red and his eyes such a deep shade of blue that I fear I might drown in them.

And it hits me, how much I’ve probably fucked up. How I’ve taken advantage of this bond just to touch him. How he probably went along with it, hoping that it might break the spell. But I have no fucking clue how this bond works.

I get up and head for the bathroom and he tries to stop me.

“Baz…” he says, “I…”

“Don’t worry, Snow. I know you’re not gay…” I mutter as I leave, avoiding his gaze.

**Simon**

Shit, I was going to say that I had wished for this too. When he cast his spell, I made the same wish. To be able to touch him, for him to touch me.

And this was the best orgasm of my life. I never even thought that I could possibly feel this good. With him.

Baz was…so ridiculously hot. He’s always so perfect and poised and to see him like that, his hair all over his face, his cheeks flushed (thank goodness he had just fed) and the way he just let go and came. I didn’t want him to wash, I wanted him dirty and imperfect and moaning. And it was because of me. I did that to him.

Fuck, I think I might be gay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angsty ending, please don’t hate me!  
> I don’t know how, but in spite of having a CO Exchange and COTTA fic to write, I ended up thinking about a DeNiall spinoff for this fic (I may have already started writing it as well 😬).  
> Would anyone be interested in reading it?  
> As usual comments and kudos make me a happy bunny.


	5. Underneath the bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Baz wants is a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if this chapter took so long, I posted my DeNiall spin off and I had to finish my CO Exchange fic first, but here it is. I hope you enjoy it (there’s a bit of angst).

_I looked inside the summer-house;_

_It wasn’t over there;_

_I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,_

_And Brighton’s bracing air._

_I don’t know what the blackbird sang,_

_Or what the tulip said;_

_But it wasn’t in the chicken-run,_

_Or underneath the bed._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

It’s been a month.

We’ve been stuck together for a whole month and the worst thing is that I’m actually enjoying it. Not that I would ever admit it out loud, especially to Penny. She’s been working her socks off, trying to find a counter spell or a way out, but there’s literally nothing. We’ve checked every single book in the library that mentions bonds. Miss Possibelf said more or less the same thing when we spoke to her yesterday, although she seems to think there’s still hope (Baz doesn’t seem to believe her).

The Mage has been trying to use some random incantations, but Baz has been refusing to leave me alone with him (which is also weirdly reassuring). I can tell the Mage is getting pissed off, but the Coven has been strangely quiet. The Old Families seem to have temporarily ceased fire against him; I guess it’s because Baz is involved.

But most importantly, my magic has been fine! I can do spells that I usually don’t even dare to try and I haven’t gone off in ages. Actually, I haven’t gone off since I created the bond.

“ ** _Clean as a whistle_**!” I cast, getting rid of the mess I made when I dropped my strawberry jam sandwich on the duvet.

“Not bad, Snow,” Baz says. We’re sitting on the bed studying, we’re side by side, our hips touching. He leans over me to check the very faint pink spot I left and smiles at me. I feel my cheeks getting warm, I’m still not used to him being so nice to me.

“Shall I try an **Out, out, damned spot**?”

“Yes, go for it. But make sure you articulate your words well. You’ve been practising, I know you can do it.”

I take a deep breath, then cast the spell and it works. I smile triumphantly at him and he pats my leg gently.

“I know it’s a spell you probably mastered when you were six, but I’ve never managed to cast even the easy stuff.”

“It’s because of your magic,” he simply says.

“What do you mean?”

“You have too much of it. Way too much. I had no idea before, but since you started sharing it with me, I can say that you were not a crap magician, like I’ve always claimed. You just have an absurd quantity of magic in you and it’s impossible to control it, but I think it’s getting easier to do it because you’re giving me some of it every night when you’re asleep and when we...”

He looks embarrassed and doesn’t finish the sentence, then as he closes his book and puts it under his pillow.

I stare at him with my mouth open. Has Baz just admitted that I’m not a shitty magician?

“Baz, are you telling me-“

“Yes, I’m telling you that I was wrong,” he says still avoiding my eyes and getting up, “that you’re not crap at all. You never were.”

He goes to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

I’m speechless.

**Baz**

Fucking bond, making me go all mushy with Snow.

I think I’ll hide in the en suite for the rest of the evening. Possibly for the rest of my life. I can pretend to take a shower, even though I have already taken one this morning and I still need to go hunting.

“Baz, shall we go to dinner? I’m hungry.”

Ok, I guess I should come out. I cannot let Simon Snow starve simply because I’m embarrassed to death. At least I won’t blush.

**Simon**

“I think I’ll go home next weekend,” says Penny as a greeting, when I sit down next to her.

“Has something happened?” I ask, knowing that she doesn’t normally go home, unless she can avoid it.

“I need to check my dad’s books. There’s nothing left in the library on bonds and Miss Possibelf won’t let me read her books. But I’m pretty sure my parents have got some old tomes they didn’t give the Coven; they’re too valuable and they probably kept them hidden.”

“That would be nice of you, Bunce,” says Baz, getting up to grab some food.

He’s been getting food for both of us and he seems to know exactly what I like and dislike eating. I swear this bond is making my life easier. Baz has also been helping me with my homework every day and not just with Latin. He seems to be good at every single subject, even the ones he doesn’t take.

We fall asleep every night holding hands, which is something I never thought I would find so nice. I mean, it makes you feel all warm and lovely; I guess that’s why people do it. Agatha and I used to hold hands sometimes, but she didn’t seem to be too fussed about it and her hands were a bit sweaty. Baz’s hands feel cool and soft; it’s nice to hold them, especially when I’m falling asleep. I think it makes me feel safe.

And when we wake up in the morning…well, let’s say that sometimes we hold something else…which is also rather nice. Although Baz doesn’t seem too keen on letting me touch him. He only wants to help me, which I don’t get (also because I can see that he’s hard). Maybe he’s a prude, who knows? What bugs me is that I’ve realised that _I_ actually want to touch him and that I like making him feel good. I’ve tried not to think about it, but it happens nearly every day, so it’s a bit hard to ignore.

Baz is impossible to ignore.

“Penny,” I whisper as soon as Baz is out of earshot, “I have a question for you.”

“Go for it; is Baz bothering you?” she asks.

“No! That’s the problem; he’s been super nice to me.”

“Oh, poor you, then,” she teases.

“Can the bond change your feelings over time? I know you said it can’t make you fall in love with someone, but I was wondering if you’ve found any evidence of it happening in the long run.”

Penny’s razor-sharp gaze pierces through me and I start sweating.

“Simon, do you think Baz has fallen in love with you? Because that sounds quite absurd to me.”

I was actually trying to find out if it’s possible that I’m falling in love with Baz, but I feel like I might spontaneously combust any minute now, so I just shake my head and then shrug. I don’t know how to ask Penny if she thinks I'm actually gay. Maybe I should speak to Dev...

“It can’t happen. There are records of couples who eventually consume the bond and then lead a happy married life, but that’s something that happens over the years. A spell cannot make you fall in love with someone, that’s impossible.”

And yet I am falling for him. And I find myself wanting to kiss him all the time lately.

Maybe I'm bi...

“The most likely scenario is that Baz is trying his best to get along with you, because you’re stuck together. Besides, antagonising you is completely pointless and counterproductive,” she explains.

“Oh…” I guess that makes sense.

“Do you reckon he’s going to go back to being a wanker when we break the bond?” I ask, trying not to sound too anxious about it.

“Who knows. Let’s hope not; it’s actually lovely to study with him, and he knows a lot of interesting spells.”

**Baz**

“Come on, let’s go hunt in the Wavering Wood. I bet you’re fed up with rats,” he says with a grin that means trouble.

“How are we going to get back? The drawbridge will be up by the time I'm done,” I argue (but I must admit that I would appreciate a change in my diet and a walk in the Wood).

“I’ll give you some of my magic and you can cast **Float like a butterfly** to get us over the moat.”

I follow him without protesting. That’s what my life’s come to: getting in trouble with Simon Snow.

“Do you miss your old missions with the Mage?” I ask as soon as we’re outside of the school grounds and we don’t have to whisper anymore. He seems to think for a few minutes, then shrugs.

“I like being helpful and knowing that I’m working towards defeating the Humdrum, but I’m not particularly fond of the mess I normally end up in.”

“What does he normally make you do?” I ask.

Snow is quiet for a bit, then he starts telling me about his missions. About the creatures he’s killed and the blood he’s spilt, about all the gore and the adrenaline. About how it makes him feel excited and almost drunk when he defeats his opponents, but how empty and wiped-out he feels afterwards. He talks about the Humdrum, their meeting last summer and the horrible realisation that he looks like him. Worse, a famished 11-year version of himself with that bloody ball he used to carry with him all the time.

I listen and let him speak, and I forget about hunting or going back to our room. I just let him get it all out until his voice is hoarse and his hand finds mine in the darkness.

**Simon**

It’s Sunday and this time I decide to go get lunch for us, letting Baz catch up with his friends in peace. Niall looks a mess; I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there are dark circles under his eyes and he almost looks as pale as Baz. Dev doesn’t look particularly cheerful either.

“Simon…” I turn and find Agatha behind me. She just got a tray and a plate and is standing there, looking unsure and a bit embarrassed.

“Agatha, how are you?” I say.

“I’m ok, what about you? I’ve heard about the bond. I’m really sorry, Simon…”

Her hand rests on my arm and I suddenly feel a strong pull in my stomach, as if someone was trying to jerk it out of my body. I suddenly feel dizzy and warm; I haven’t felt this sick in ages. My eyes search the Dining Hall until they find Baz. He’s looking at me with an expression I’ve never seen before on his beautiful face. He looks angry, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes look like they’re on fire, but it’s not the usual pissed off glare he used to give me all the time. It’s different.

“Sorry, Agatha, I’ll speak to you another time. I need to go now…” I find myself saying, without even looking at her, without breaking eye contact with Baz.

I nearly drop all the food on the floor, because I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing. I pour hot tea on my hands, swearing out loud and I get told off by a teacher, but my eyes are still locked with his. I nearly trip on Penny’s bag when I finally make my way to the table and I sit next to Baz. And then my leg finally slides against his; the relief almost makes me moan out loud. His knuckles nudge my knee under the table and I find myself nodding at him (I don’t even know what for), then he gently places his fingers on my knee, moving ever so slightly up my thigh and I close my eyes and draw a deep breath.

This is heaven.

“Simon, are you ok? What did Agatha want?” asks Penny, bringing me back to reality.

**Baz**

Yes, what did Wellbelove want? I feel like I could have incinerated her with a glare.

“She just wanted to say she heard about the bond and she was sorry, that’s all,” Snow answers Bunce.

And I suddenly feel really stupid.

It dawns on me how we’ve basically been playing happy boyfriends, but it’s all a farce. It’s all because of this bloody bond that is making me show him my feelings and somehow is making him soft for me. But he’s going to go back to her, sooner or later.

It’s all a lie.

It’s all fake.

I move my hand away from Snow’s leg and pour myself some tea, trying not to shake under his gaze. He has tilted his head and is probably looking at me with a confused expression on his gorgeous face.

I can’t do this.

It’s too much, even for me.

My heart’s going to shatter and I won’t be able to pick up the pieces this time.

I can’t do this anymore.

**Simon**

I suck at Greek, even more than at Latin. The different alphabet really doesn’t help.

“For fuck’s sake, I don’t get this!” I nearly throw my book across our room and Baz stares at me with raised eyebrows, clearly thinking that I’m a drama queen (which is precious, coming from him).

“Why did you even choose Latin and Greek as options?” he asks, “You can’t stand them and you’re clearly struggling.”

“I know, but to be fair, I struggle with most subjects,” I admit.

“Your timetable doesn’t make any sense, Snow. Why did you pick these options?” he asks, abandoning his homework.

“Penny chose them for me.”

“What?” he asks, looking surprised and positively horrified.

“I had no idea what to choose, so I asked her to do it for me,” I shrug.

“But Snow, your options are based on what you’re going to study next year. Which course are you going to do at university?” he asks, and then he pauses, “are you planning on going to university at all?”

I sigh and start tapping my pencil on the desk; I hate talking about this.

“Baz, I don’t even know if I’ll be alive next year. There’s no point in worrying about uni…”

He freezes, his grey eyes open wide. Sometimes they’re colour of the sky when there’s a thunderstorm, but today they remind me of the sea when it’s about to rain and the air feels fresh and moist against your face.

His hand finds my wrist, his long fingers curling around it and sending a shiver down my spine.

“Snow, you’re not going to die,” he says. And he sounds so certain about it, that I almost want to believe him.

“You don’t know that,” I say instead.

“You can’t-“ he starts, but I interrupt him, because I don’t want to hear his reassuring words.

“Baz, I have to defeat the Humdrum; it’s in the prophecy. And the chances of me dying are pretty high, considering how it went last time. What’s the point in me worrying about school subjects when all I am is a bloody weapon? What’s the fucking point in choosing Magickal Science over Magickal Music if I might not even make it until the end of the school year?” I reply angrily.

I don’t even know why I’m taking it all out on him. He’s been so nice to me; he hasn’t provoked me or mentioned the fact that we’re fighting on opposite sides. Yes, he used to be a dickhead and tease me all the time. He was horrible to me, but he’s different now.

We’re on a truce. I want to make it last.

“Snow, you’re not a weapon; you’re a person!”

“Easy for you to say. Besides, if the Humdrum doesn’t kill me, it will be the Old Families. Maybe you will be asked to finish me off,” I say staring at him, waiting for his reaction. Hoping against hope that he will deny it.

“I…I won’t…I can’t anymore…” he mutters, looking almost desperate.

Why does he always look so upset lately?

“Simon, you’re not going to die. I’m not going to let it happen.”

I look at him and I want to believe him. I really do.

**Baz**

Another week’s gone by and it’s Thursday evening. Zero progress in the library, no news from my Father, nor from Miss Possibelf’s research. The Mage is as annoying as usual, but at least he’s given up on summoning Simon to convince him to split us up.

I should really try to enjoy this while it lasts, but I can’t shake off the feeling that as soon as the spell is broken, Snow will hate me again. And what’s the point in getting attached to him even more, if I’m going to lose him? It will feel like falling from an even taller building; it will just make the crash louder and more painful.

I’m starting to wonder whether the only way to break the bond is to have sex with him. But that would kill me…

I pretend to eat, moving the food around my plate, hiding some meet under the lettuce. I’m starving, but I’ll have to wait and get some food from Cook Pritchard and eat it later. At least now I can eat in front of Snow, it’s a small consolation. 

“Fuck, Niall…” I turn and Dev is holding his hand, “you’re bleeding again!”

He looks angry, almost upset, as Niall takes his hand back and hides it under the table.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” says Niall immediately.

“Everything is fucking wrong, Baz! And you have zero clue, because all you care about it yourself, as usual!” Dev shouts.

“Hey, leave Baz alone!” shouts Snow, coming to my defence.

I feel like a fucking damsel in distress now.

“Stay out of this, Snow! You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” says Dev looking extremely pissed off.

Niall gets up and leaves, without even saying goodbye and Dev follows him straight away.

I’m such a shitty person, I don’t even know what’s wrong with my friends.

“Men…” mutters Bunce next to Snow.

**Simon**

I have no idea what happened with his friends, but Baz looks well moody this evening. I got his favourite food from the kitchens after dinner and then convinced him to hunt in the Wood again, but that didn’t seem to cheer him up either.

I take a quick shower and when I go back to our room, I find him rummaging under the bed. He’s closing a black box and he puts it away as soon as he sees me. I want to know what it contains. I’ve seen it before and I tried to check what was inside it last year, but it didn’t open for me. He must have used some kind of spell to prevent me from snooping around.

I don’t bother putting my shirt on, I’ve left the window closed (Baz was cold) and I’m running hot after taking a shower. I also quite like the way Baz looks at me when I’m half naked, like he’s desperately trying to resist the urge to take a peek, but can’t help it.

Baz turns the lights off without a word and we settle in bed. But I can’t sleep. And I feel like kissing him again.

“Shall we play that game?” I ask, turning to face him.

“What game?” he asks, staring at the ceiling.

“The questions game. I ask you one, then you ask me one.”

I could push my magic into him and make him drunk again like last time.

Shit, it sounds like I want to spike his drink and take advantage of him, I’m such an idiot.

“Ok…” he says, sounding uncertain.

“What’s in the box under the bed?” I ask.

He turns and his eyes lock with mine. I know he can see me well, but the curtains are drawn and my eyes are getting used to the darkness. I can see that he’s probably deciding if he should tell me to shut up and go to sleep or if he can risk playing the game.

“My mother’s scarves,” he says.

“Oh…” I was not expecting that.

“Are you going back with Wellbelove, when this is over?”

“What? No, we broke up more than a month ago.”

Why is he asking me that all of a sudden?

“Do you remember much about your mum?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

Baz closes his eyes and sighs, then he turns again and lies on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Sorry, forget about it,” I say, “I didn’t mean to ask you an upsetting question. I can ask you something else.”

“It’s fine, Snow. She died when I was five. I have some memories of her, like when she used to let me play with my lego in her office while she was working. How she used to call me ‘little puff’ and hold my hand. Hers was really rough, because she was a fire magician, like me.”

“Penny told me that she died, I’m sorry…” and I don’t just say it because it’s what’s expected, I actually mean it. I don’t have any parents and I have no idea what it’s like to lose one of them, but from the sound of his voice and the way he’s gone quiet, I can see that it pains him to no end.

“I remember the day it happened…” he says in a whisper.

“Was that…?”

“The day the vampires attacked Watford. The day I was turned…”

I swallow loudly and look at his profile, at his perfect face and his soft looking hair and the nose that I broke a few years ago. And then I feel the urge to touch him, to make him feel better, to have him in my arms. I’ve never felt this way before, not with Penny, nor with Agatha.

My hand moves before I realise it and it gently brushes his hair off his forehead, tracing his eyebrows in the most gentle way I can manage. I’m rough and clumsy, but I want to be soft with him. He turns to look at me, a curious expression on his face.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I-I…” I stutter, “Just…shut up and let me…”

I move closer to him under the covers, my arm circles his waist and I rest my head on his chest. I’m expecting to hear his heart beating, but there’s no sound, except for his fast breathing.

“Snow?”

“I know I’m shit at giving hugs…” I say gruffly.

“No…this is…rather nice, actually.”

Oh.

“It’s just that I don’t need a pity cuddle,” he says, but his hand moves and slides across my arm, then brushes against my wrist.

“That’s not what this is…” I manage to say, “I just wanted…to touch you,” I whisper, feeling my cheeks getting red. Thank Merlin it’s dark.

“Ok…”

“It’s your turn to ask a question,” I say, hoping the awkwardness will go away.

Baz seems to think for a few minutes, his fingers keep on roaming across my skin, making me relax. I’ve never been touched like this, with the lightest of touches, just fingertips, like I’m something fragile that might break. I don’t really know what to do with my hands. I wanted to be the one comforting him, but he’s the one doing the touching. I feel my magic leaving my body without my control and flowing into his, I’ve started doing this automatically when we’re in bed together. He shudders next to me, then hums and his fingers slide in my hair, stroking my curls.

“Are you going to kill me when this is over?” he asks and the question hangs in the air for a few minutes.

“Are you fucking out of your mind?” I ask, getting up to look him in the eyes.

“What?”

“How can you ask me that? Of course I’m not, you wanker!”

“Ok, calm down, Snow…” he says with wide eyes.

“Are you going back to being a dickhead to me, when this is over?” I ask.

“Would you like me to?”

“No, I like you better this way.”

And I’m tempted to say that I simply like him, full stop. More than like him, actually. And it scares me to death, but it feels inevitable, like everything else when it comes to him. But his hands reach for me and he drags me down into his arms and I just let him do it, because there’s suddenly no other place I’d rather be.

“So we’re not going to kill each other…” he says, his voice low.

I can’t hear his heart beating. It makes me feel desperate in a way that I don’t even understand.

I hold him closer, pressing a kiss in the crook of his neck.

“No, we’re not.”

**Baz**

I wake up with Snow in my arms, his legs tangled up with mine. I don’t know how, but my pyjama top is open and I can feel Snow’s warm body pressed against my chest, skin to skin. I must have unbuttoned it during the night (or Snow has, judging from the fact that some of the buttons are actually missing). I’m hard, but at least my crotch is not pressing against him, so he’s probably not aware of it.

Then I realise that he’s awake and he’s looking at me, a soft smile on his face.

“You don’t get to look at me sleeping just because we’ve decided that we’re not going to kill each other anymore,” I say.

And then I feel his hand over my trousers, palming my hard cock and making me gasp.

“Snow, what are you…?”

“Shush, just let me touch you,” he says.

I would like to protest, like I usually do when he offers to ‘help me’ (as he graciously puts it every time he wants to wank me), but I feel his skin against mine, his lips trailing kisses on my neck and his hand suddenly dipping inside my trousers and my pants.

“Fuck…” it comes out as a moan and I know I should stop him, because this feels like I’m taking advantage of him through the bond. Because he’s not gay; he said so himself.

But I’m weak and I haven’t wanked in ages.

“Close your eyes,” he whispers in my ear, before catching my earlobe with his lips and sucking on it. And I do as he says.

He asks me to lift my hips and he pulls my trousers and underwear down in one swift move; I hear the soft noise of fabric on skin as he moves beside me. And then I feel him. All of him, naked against me. And I think I’m going to die.

Can I open my eyes to take a look? I really want to see him. His fingers find my cock and he gives me one long stroke, making me groan in anticipation. He moves and I suddenly feel his weight on top of me, his mouth on my neck, licking, kissing and nibbling at my skin. I moan loudly; I wasn’t even aware that I was so sensitive in that spot.

I whimper as I realise that what I really want, what I desperately need is for him to kiss me. To kiss my lips. Even just once. I feel like crying at the thought that he’s touching me all over, his fingers are exploring my body and brushing against my ribs, pinching my nipples and making me gasp, trailing down my torso, circling my belly button and then curling around my hard cock, stroking me confidently. And all I really want is for him to simply kiss me. I feel my heart break into a million pieces, because I love him so fucking much. And all I need is a kiss.

But he doesn’t do it.

I cover my face with my hand, because I’m afraid I might start crying and I don’t want him to see me fall apart. He takes his wand and casts a **Slippery when wet** , then he moves on top of me and I feel his dick sliding against mine and I involuntarily thrust up.

“Fuck, Baz…” he groans.

He moves against me, my breath hitches when I feel him taking both of us into his hand together. My eyes open wide and I can’t help but look at the two of us, joined together. I can feel my cock twitching and getting impossibly harder.

He starts pumping us with a steady rhythm, his mouth open and panting, his eyes focused on our dicks and I feel like I’m melting under his hot touch. I don’t know where to put my hands, so I trace his moles down his chest and end up gripping his hips. My fingers press into his skin so hard that I’m afraid I’ll leave bruises. I can hear his heart beating madly in his chest and he’s so alive and so breathtakingly beautiful. 

“Simon…” I moan and I feel like I’m begging him for more. More skin, more heat, more friction. More Simon.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he says, his voice hoarse, “God, how are you so hot? I’m…” 

And then he comes, spurting white streaks over his hand and my belly. He looks at me, while he’s catching his breath and swears out loud, then he wraps his hand around my length again. His fingers are still slick with his own come and he’s using it to stroke my cock. The wet sound it makes is the most ridiculously arousing thing I’ve ever heard in my life and I feel myself tipping over the edge in a few minutes.

“Simon…” I come with his name on my lips. 

**Simon**

Baz looks like he’s been hit by a train. Or like his cat has died or something.

I don’t really understand what happened. I thought touching him and helping him get off was going to help him; cheer him up a bit. But he looks more upset than he was yesterday evening (and I thought we made progress last night). He excuses himself and basically runs to the bathroom to take a shower, bringing his clothes with him.

It takes him longer than usual and I can feel my skin starting to itch and get warmer. I miss his body next to mine; I miss his touch. I cast a cleaning spell on my myself, but I’m so on edge that I mess up and end up vanishing my socks instead. I get dressed while I wait, because I feel stupid being naked and I don’t want him to find me like this, like a lost naked puppy waiting for his return.

He emerges from the bathroom before I can finish putting my shirt on; his eyes look red and I wonder if he was crying. I touch his elbow, but he averts his gaze.

“We’re going to be late for breakfast. You’d better hurry up and get ready.”

And I feel so rejected that I want to hide. I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t understand what I’ve done to hurt him.

I go to the bathroom and wash up quickly, then I brush my teeth and come back. I put on my shirt, but I miss a button and then have to start all over again, swearing under my breath. Then my tie won’t fucking cooperate and the knot is a colossal muck-up. My fingers tremble as I try to sort it out and then Baz steps in front of me.

He gently brushes my fingers aside and slides all the buttons in the right hole. He straightens the neck of my white shirt and then wraps the tie around me, sliding his cool hands against my neck. Then he starts working on my tie, radiating confidence and calm as he does a perfect full Windsor knot.

And I can’t stop staring at his eyes and his lips. My mouth is open and just a few inches away from his, all I need is to tilt my head up and close the distance between us and then I can finally taste him. I wonder if he’s ever kissed anyone before; I’m not sure he has. I thought I knew everything about him, but I was wrong.

My fingers move on their own accord, cupping his cheek and his eyes meet mine. And I want to ask for his permission, but I hear his breathing getting faster and I see his tongue licking his lower lip, watching me with those stormy grey eyes and I suddenly can’t wait anymore.

My fingers slide through his hair and I pull him down towards me. Our lips finally touch and I let out a small whimper as his hands circle my back and press me impossibly close to him. His lips are so soft against mine and it feels like I’m finally where I belong. In his arms, with my mouth on his, breathing the same air. I feel sparks of my magic exploding all over my skin, then settling into a low flow that leaves my body and enters his, without meaning to. He lets out a small gasp and I take advantage of it to let my tongue explore his mouth, sliding against his. And he tastes amazing, like minty toothpaste and something unbelievably familiar. Like Baz.

I don’t think he’s ever kissed anyone before; he’s clumsy in an adorable way that makes my heart clench in my chest. It also makes me happy, because I’m the first one to taste his lips, to make him moan and whimper like this. I deepen the kiss and he answers with a needy sound at the back of his throat, then he buries his fingers in my hair.

When I break the kiss to catch my breath, his eyes look like they’re full of stars, like they’re finally alive again, like that night when he cast the wishing spell. His fingers brush over the sensitive inside of my wrist, making my whole body tingle. Then he curls his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for another kiss.

We’re ridiculously late for breakfast, I sit down in front of Dev while Baz runs to get some food.

And my eyes can’t stop following him, his graceful lean body, his hair, still slightly damp, falling in soft waves around his beautiful face, his elegant fingers, that were tangled in my hair until a few minutes ago and his lips, slightly bruised from my kisses.

“Fuck, Snow…” Dev says in front of me.

I turn to look at him and he’s shaking his head.

“You had to fall in love with Baz, didn’t you?” he asks.

And I don’t know what to say, so I swallow loudly and just nod. Because he’s right.

I’m in love with him.

“This is so fucked up…” he adds.

And it probably is, but I don’t care. Because he kissed me earlier. He let me kiss him for what felt like hours and then he smiled at me.

And I want to do it again and again.

I’m going to die kissing Baz Pitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Penny, I feel like I’m neglecting her big time in this fic; she barely got any lines.  
> This chapter didn’t exactly turn out the way I expected and the last part was quite upsetting to write. I really hope it was not rubbish, apologies for the sad smut!  
> More to come soon (because I’m finally on holiday)!


	6. Vulgar but funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dev and Simon strike a deal, (spoiler alert) Romeo and Juliet die, a lovely chat in the library, Simon gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super huge thank you to [ imhellakitty ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhellakitty/) for being the most wonderful beta and for her support with this chapter. 💙

_Can it pull extraordinary faces?_

_Is it usually sick on a swing?_

_Does it spend all its time at the races,_

_or fiddling with pieces of string?_

_Has it views of its own about money?_

_Does it think Patriotism enough?_

_Are its stories vulgar but funny?_

_O tell me the truth about love._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

“Fuck, Snow. You had to fall in love with Baz, didn’t you?” Dev asks.

And I don’t know what to say, so I swallow loudly and just nod. Because he’s right.

I’m in love with him.

“This is so fucked up…” he adds.

Baz is chatting with Niall, so I reckon I still have a few minutes to talk to Dev before he’s back.

“Dev, I need some help. I don’t really know what to do,” I say tugging at my hair. Then I add,” but I don’t think I can arrange for you to date Agatha.”

“Don’t worry about that, Snow. I’m not actually interested in Wellbelove; it was just a stupid joke. But I owe Penelope Bunce a favour, so I’m willing to give you a hand. What do you need from me?” he asks, his sharp eyes studying me.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I’m gay; I’ve never fancied another bloke before…but I think I might have feelings for Baz,” I swallow and Baz’s eyes meet mine, “I think I was probably a terrible boyfriend when I was dating Agatha. But I want to do things right this time. Can you help me?”

I don’t know why I’m asking him, since he’s not a friend and I’m not even sure that I can trust him. But I can’t ask Penny; she wouldn’t understand and she’s definitely one hundred percent straight.

“Snow, you’re asking the wrong person for relationship advice. I’m probably as bad as you are, if not worse, considering how much I’ve fucked up mine. Besides, I’ve never dated anyone before. I can give you tips on sex, if you want,” he shrugs and looks at Baz and Niall, a frown on his face.

“We’ve…we haven’t had sex yet,” I say.

“No shit Sherlock, otherwise you wouldn’t still be stuck to him.”

“But we’ve kind of…done other stuff…”

He turns to look at me and raises an eyebrow (do they have family training sessions to learn this move?).

“Ok, Snow. I’m going to help you. I think we can both benefit from your relationship with Baz taking the next step.”

“What kind of benefit would you have?” I ask, but I see Baz and Niall walking towards us and Dev kicks me under the table.

“Not a word to anyone, agreed?” he whispers.

I nod.

**Baz**

Snow kissed me this morning. I don’t know what happened or why he decided to do it, but I feel like I’m walking on a fucking cloud right now. He keeps on sending me these furtive looks and he blushes every time our eyes meet. I feel like I’m in a period drama set in the 18th century; the next thing I know, I’m going to drop my handkerchief and then swoon in his arms.

The morning goes on slowly and I can’t stop thinking that it’s Friday and that we get to spend the weekend together. Bunce is going home and Niall said he wanted to spend some time with Dev (no idea what happened between them, since they never fight, but he said he needed to ‘patch things up’). I know it’s stupid, but I feel hopeful. Like I finally have something to look forward to.

It’s going to be just the two of us. We can study in our room, we can go for a walk in the Wood, we can even get food from the kitchens and avoid the Dining Hall. We can make out, if Snow still wants to do it.

His hand brushes against mine on the desk. I don’t move and let his fingertips slide over my knuckles and warm me up. I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling of his magic rushing through me.

Aleister Crowley, I’m living a charmed life.

**Simon**

Penny and I only share a few periods together today, so we barely see each other. She’s going to leave straight after the last lesson of the day to spend the weekend at home. I feel quite bad for being relieved that she’s not going to be here, but then she gives me a bollocking for not spending enough time in the library to study this week, so I don’t feel as guilty about it after all.

I haven’t had a moment alone with Baz since this morning and I’m dying to touch him. When we leave the Dining Hall at lunch to grab some food from the kitchens, my fingers brush against the back of his hand and he looks at me with a funny expression on his face. I want to kiss him again.

Our last lesson of the day is double English literature and our teacher has decided to show us the film _Romeo + Juliet_ , so we go to the school’s projection room. As soon as we’re in, I drag Baz to the little sofa tucked in a corner at the back. It’s where couples normally go to snog, but no one pays attention to us. No one suspects.

The lights go off and the film starts, but I can’t focus on what’s going on (I thought we were watching Romeo and Juliet, so why are they all dressed like that? They speak in a funny way though…). My hand finds his knee and it slowly moves up. I can feel him tense under my touch and I wonder if he doesn’t want me to continue, so I stop. But then he turns towards me and I can see his eyes shining, reflecting the light from the screen, his lips parting.

My fingers stroke his cheek; I try to be as gentle as I can, even though my hands are rough.

“ _My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss_ ,” says Juliet in the film.

I’m not sure what she means, but I lean in and my lips meet his, and I hear a soft sigh leaving his mouth. His cool fingers cover mine, stroking them, then slide through my curls and bring me closer to him.

The film goes on and I have no idea what happens. I kiss him until my lips are sore. I kiss him until my hands have explored and mapped most of his body over his clothes. I kiss him until he’s a whimpering mess under me and his soft gasps and moans are drowned by the film.

No one seems to have noticed what we’ve been doing for the whole duration of the film. I hear a loud sob from a girl sitting in front of us. I look at the screen and Romeo and Juliet lie dead, their bodies on top of each other.

“What the fuck, they both die at the end?!” I say to Baz.

He covers his face with a hand and groans.

“Snow, seriously?”

**Baz**

How can I be in love with such a troglodyte?

But Crowley, his lips are going to kill me…

**Simon**

We spend the afternoon in the library, because Baz says that he wants to finish his homework and that we won’t be able to concentrate in our room.

I just want to kiss him.

We have dinner with Dev and Niall and then grab some food for Baz as we head outside.

“Shall we go to the Wood this evening?” he asks.

“Ok,” I answer, mainly because I don’t really fancy snogging him in the Catacombs. It’s dark and creepy and it smells musty. I want to smell Baz and feel the wind on my skin as I push him against a tree to kiss him.

That’s the plan.

**Baz**

The nights are starting to get chilly and it’s already dark outside, by the time we leave the Dining Hall. We walk in silence and Snow grabs my hand. It’s warm and a bit rough, because of all the time he spends brandishing his sword. I like how solid it feels against my own and I start wondering what it would feel like to have his hands travelling down my naked body, touching me everywhere, marking me as his. To have his fingers inside me.

“Baz?” he asks and I’m glad I haven’t had any blood yet, because I would be blushing furiously by now.

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Why does he have to ask me such an embarrassing question? Can he not simply push me against a tree or take me in his arms?

Shit, I do sound like a damsel in distress…

I squeeze his hand, because I don’t trust my voice right now and I look at him. He’s so beautiful under the moonlight, with his bronze curls ruffled by the wind. My hand clenches his shirt and I pull him closer to me, and his lips finally meet mine. I feel his arms circling my waist, his warmth engulfing me, making me feel safe.

He kisses me like it’s the end of the world.

**Simon**

We spend Saturday morning in bed, kissing and touching. I don’t even mind missing breakfast, but I would like to have Baz naked in my arms and he seems to be too keen on keeping his clothes on.

“Is everything ok?” I ask, nuzzling his neck.

“Yes, why?”

I kiss his chin, his nose, then his closed eyelids and his temple. My fingers slide through his soft hair. It smells so lovely and I snuggle up closer to him, feeling my magic leave me.

My stomach rumbles loudly and I feel his lips form a smile against my cheek.

“I think it’s time we go and feed you, Snow.”

“Call me Simon.”

**Baz**

If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.

Is this happening because of the spell he cast?

He said “show me your feelings” when he went off in the Wavering Wood, binding us together. It feels like a whole year has gone by, but it was barely over a month ago.

Is his magic making him like me, just because I’m showing him my love?

Is this just a reflection of my own feelings?

I don’t want him to touch me, because I feel guilty about it. I feel like I’m forcing him to want me because of the bond. It’s ok for me to help him get off (I keep on telling myself it’s the least I can do, since he can’t even wank in peace), but it’s different if he tries to touch me.

I don’t want him to regret this and hate me even more, once this is over and we get out of the bond.

**Simon**

After lunch Baz wants to study in the library again. He gets a thermos with tea from the kitchens and some scones for later (I may truly be in love with him).

We find his friends and I sit down in front of Dev, who is scribbling on a pad. I realise he’s drawing something and I tilt my head to try to see it better. It looks like a portrait of Niall, but he covers it with his hands and gives me a curious look.

“Someone looks well shagged!” he says with a smug grin, pointing at me and Baz. Niall looks perplexed, I don’t think he knows that Baz and I have made progress.

“Dev, watch it,” warns Baz, but I can see that he’s getting embarrassed. I’ve learnt to read him even better than before.

“Baz, this is the first time in my life that I’ve actually seen you with bed hair. And we’ve known each other since we were born.”

Baz’s hair looks absolutely fine (I like it a bit messy), but he starts touching it with a concerned look on his face, trying to comb it with his fingers.

“Your mouth is awfully swollen too,” continues Dev with a sly smile, “were you perhaps stung by a bee?”

“Dev…” says Baz in a threatening tone.

“Or did you brush your teeth too vigorously? Or maybe you’ve had an allergic reaction. Do you have a specific _nut_ allergy?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows, “it almost looks like you’ve been sucking dick all night.”

“Dev, why do you have to be so vulgar?” asks Baz angrily, taking a sip of his tea from the thermos.

“Come on, Baz. Take a chill pill. Everyone likes getting their cock sucked, right Snow?” he says winking at me. And I feel my cheeks catching fire. Baz nearly chokes on his tea and Niall looks like he might faint any minute.

“Dev, come off it!” he says.

“Niall, don’t act like a little angel. You like getting yours sucked too and we both know it,” he says with a smile.

I think Niall is going to hyperventilate, but Dev puts his hand on his arm and smiles at him and that simple gesture seems to calm him down instantly.

“Dev, stop being a wanker and leave Niall alone,” says Baz.

“It’s ok,” says Niall and then he turns and he stares at Baz, looking uncertain, “actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about, Baz.”

Niall gets up and gestures to follow him.

And suddenly, all I can think about is Dev’s words. About Baz’s lips. About how much I would like to put my own mouth _there_. To suck Baz’s cock.

I take advantage of the fact that they’re having a private chat to ask Dev for some advice.

“Dev, how do you give someone a blowjob?” I ask, keeping my voice as low as possible.

“You open your mouth,” he whispers like he’s telling me the secret to the Holy Grail, “and then you suck their dick.”

“Piss off, I need serious advice here!” 

“Snow, just think about what you like when you’re getting yours sucked and try to replicate,” he says shrugging.

“I’m not…I’ve never…”

“Merlin’s balls, Snow! Are you a complete virgin?” he says, raising his voice. Baz and Niall look at us, even the librarian gives us the stink eye. Shit, have they heard Dev?

“Will you lower your fucking voice, you dickhead?” I whisper angrily, but he just laughs at me.

“Who would have thought, Simon Snow has never had sex before. Well, at least you’re in good company; I don’t think Baz has ever done anything with anyone either. It’s actually quite surprising. He’s the fittest bloke in school and you’re the Chosen One and yet you both still need to get laid.”

“If you’re done with your monologue, I would still like some advice. And anyway, we’ve done some stuff…” I admit, scratching my head.

“Have you? Like what type?” he asks, suddenly interested.

“Hand jobs…” I confess, and my cheeks suddenly feel really hot.

“And that didn’t break the bond? Maybe you need to try something else. I’m surprised Baz went along with it.”

“Yes, well…he does stuff to me all the time, he just doesn’t seem too keen on me touching him, for some reason.”

“Maybe you’re just shit at it…”

“Oi, there’s no need to be a wanker, Dev!” I protest. He starts laughing and pats me on the arm.

“Why don’t you just ask Baz what he likes?” he suggests, then he gets distracted and starts looking at Niall and Baz, still deep in conversation.

“These two are taking an awfully long time,” he says, frowning.

“Why do you even care? You’re not the one in a fucking bond. I’m getting warmer by the minute, I might catch fire unless Baz comes back in the next five minutes,” I say.

“Niall’s in love with Baz,” he blurts out, making a grimace.

**Baz**

I’m a bit worried about Snow suddenly being all friendly with my cousin (surely that’s bad news), but Niall looks like he needs to talk to me about something serious.

“Are you ok?” I ask him.

“I…I don’t know how to say this, but…please don’t get mad.”

“I’ll try not to,” I say and I have no idea what he’s so worried about.

“Dev and I…we’ve been, you know…fooling around.”

“Oh,” I say surprised. I was definitely not expecting this.

“It started last summer and…I don’t know, I thought he just wanted to mess around, but I…” he starts fidgeting, his fingers nervously playing with his shirt as he bites his lips. He’s looking at Dev, avoiding my gaze.

“You’re not the type of person who likes fooling around,” I say without thinking, because I know him too well. He finally looks at me and takes a deep breath.

“No, you’re right. I’m not.”

“So, how come you’ve been…doing stuff with Dev? Is he blackmailing you or something? Because if he is, I’m going to murder him.”

Niall smiles and looks at him with a fond expression in his eyes. I’ve just realised that they’re hazel, their natural colour.

“I’ve been in love with him for years…” he confesses.

“Niall…” I don’t know what to say. I had no idea and now everything starts to make sense, like pieces of a puzzle finally slotting into the right places. All the times we were hanging out together and he was getting angry at Dev for flirting with girls. His reaction to Dev asking about Wellbelove. How hurt he looked that time we got drunk and he asked Dev what his ideal girlfriend looked like and he practically described Niall’s sisters. The fact that he’s been spelling his eyes blue since that day. The way he’s been struggling since we’ve come back to Watford.

And I feel like shit, because I wasn’t there for him. I was so caught up in my own drama, that I didn’t even notice how much my best friend was hurting.

“Niall, I’m so sorry,” I begin to say, placing my hand on his shoulder, but he shakes his head and smiles at me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Dev doesn’t know about the way I feel, so please don’t tell him,” he says and then I feel the strong pull of the bond, tugging at my stomach.

I look at Snow and he’s sitting there, staring at me, his eyes on fire. I feel really cold; Niall flinches at how freezing my hand suddenly becomes against his skin and I move it away. I look at it and there’s a thin layer of ice over my fingertips. My eyes find Snow again and I feel my body moving towards him without even meaning to. Like that night with the Crucible. I end up standing in front of him and his hand grabs mine, pushing a wave of warmth and magic into my body, making me stifle a moan as my knees nearly buckle. 

“Baz, are you ok?” asks Niall.

“I think Baz is a bit tired. I’m going to take him back to our room,” says Snow and I find myself silently taking my bag and following him, my hand still tightly cradled in his.

We walk to Mummers House without exchanging a single word. All the way there, Snow keeps on pushing his magic into me and I feel like there are sparks all over my skin, like I’m fucking on fire.

As soon as we’re inside, he leaves my hand and takes his jacket and tie off, his blue eyes never leaving mine.

“What was that between you and Niall?” he asks.

“Uh?” I ask, because apparently I’ve lost all ability to use even single words.

“You were touching him,” he says and his voice takes a dark tone that I’ve never heard before. I feel a shiver running down my spine and my dick stirring in my trousers.

Is Simon jealous?

“I…he’s…” I don’t know what to say. I also don’t feel like betraying my best friend’s trust. Can I tell Snow about Niall’s feelings? I’m already the worst best friend on the planet; I can’t do this to him.

“Off,” he orders, “take them off.”

My eyes open wide in confusion.

“What?” I ask, finally managing to form a seemingly coherent question.

“Take your clothes off. All of them. I’m going to touch you this time,” he says, unbuttoning his own shirt and untucking it. I just stand there gawping at him as he unbuckles his belt and pulls his zip down. His trousers and pants land on the floor with a clunk and I can see straight away that he’s hard. I swallow loudly.

“Are you in love with him? Is that why you don’t want me to touch you?” he asks, closing the distance between us, his hard cock brushing against my leg and making me gasp.

“No…” I murmur, but either he doesn’t believe me or he doesn’t hear me. He leans in closer, his lips nearly brushing against mine and I wish he would just kiss me, because I’m dying for it. I knew I was doomed since the first time his lips touched mine. I will never have enough of them.

“Off…” he whispers, his warm breath caressing my lips.

And I do as he asks. I strip for him, slowly taking off every single thing that I’m wearing. I start with my shirt, carefully unfastening the buttons at a maddening pace. I slide it off my arms and then neatly hang it on my chair. I can hear him groaning in frustration, but he still doesn’t touch me. I want him to lose his patience and to start tugging at my clothes. Instead, I take off my socks, then drop them on the floor and my gaze is still locked with his as I work on my belt. His Adam’s apple bobs when he hears the sound of my zip and his eyes move down my body. He stares at my hands, as I try to pull my trousers down in an elegant move (the last thing I need is to trip on them and fall on my face).

I stand in front of him naked and I let him look at me. He takes a step back to take it all in, and I feel like I’m going to crumble under his gaze. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then he moves closer and I feel his fingertips touching my lips, then slowly making their way down my neck, tracing my collarbone, turning until his knuckles brush against my chest, circling my nipple in a teasing way.

“Merlin, you’re so gorgeous…” he says and I whimper when I feel his hand moving, his open palm making its way down my torso, over my pubic hair and around my hard dick.

“I want to taste you,” he whispers against my mouth, and I nod, because I’m so desperate for his lips that I could beg for them.

“I want to suck your cock. Please, let me do it,” he murmurs in a pleading tone and I keep on nodding. I’m dying for him to touch me.

But then I open my mouth and words finally come out.

“Wait…” I say, opening my eyes and staring into the bottomless blue of his “I…you got it all wrong. I’m not in love with Niall.”

Is it the bond again, making me show my feelings? Or is it me, finally deciding to be open with him? Because I can’t stand the thought of him being convinced that I’m in love with someone else, when the only person I’ve ever wanted is him.

“He loves you though,” he mutters.

“No, he’s my best friend. He’s in love with someone else; he told me.”

Snow seems to relax. He takes my hand and leads me to bed, making me lie down and then moving until he’s holding himself up on all fours above me.

“Is it still ok for me to touch you?” he asks, his lips just a couple of inches away from mine.

“Yes…” I whisper, winding my fingers in his hair, reaching up for his mouth.

He kisses me softly, like I’m something fragile that might shatter and I feel like I might. I feel so visible, completely naked under him, in the bright afternoon light. He can see all of me, he just has to reach with his fingers and my body is for him to take. But he’s just kissing me. I open my mouth and his tongue slides inside, hot and delicious.

I want to spend my life kissing him.

He deepens the kiss and a soft moan escapes his lips as my hands roam down his back, mapping his skin. He told me that once he grew wings to escape the Humdrum. I wonder what it would feel like to touch them. My fingers venture further down his back and I let myself be brave enough to touch his arse, tentatively first, then I fully grab his buttocks and he groans, taking it an invitation to lower himself onto me, to grind against me. I gasp, feeling his cock sliding against mine, impossibly hard. He catches my bottom lip into his and sucks on it, then he lets go and he stares at me with a soft smile on his face.

“When I suck on your lips, they go almost pink. I like that.”

“Simon…” is all I manage to say and that’s all he needs to start kissing my neck, licking a long stripe and then sucking on the sensitive skin below my ear. He traces a pattern of kisses down my chest, then circles one of my nipples with his tongue and sucks on it playfully. I swear loudly and he chuckles, moving to my other nipple and flicking his tongue on it.

“Crowley, Snow, are you trying to kill me?” I ask.

“You taste amazing, you know?”

I want to taste him too, I want to be the one mapping his skin, kissing his moles and licking his freckles.

He doesn’t stop his journey down my body; he places soft kisses on my belly, avoiding my dick, which is so ridiculously hard by now, the head pink and wet with precome. 

“Simon,” I plead.

He spreads my legs and starts kissing my inner thighs, then softly nibbles my pale skin, making me groan in frustration.

“I thought you said you wanted to suck my dick,” I say.

“Maybe you should ask nicely,” he says, giving my balls a tentative lick.

“Fuck!” I swear, trying not to buck up and blind him with my erection. He starts laughing and gently tugs at my balls, his fingertips tracing my perineum.

“Why are you such a tease?” I whine.

“Just ask politely,” he says, winking at me. I huff and try to touch myself, but he brushes my fingers away.

“For fuck’s sake, Snow! Would you kindly perform oral sex on me?” I ask and he starts laughing, making me relax and smile back at him.

“You’re such a posh twat,” he says affectionately and then, without warning, he swallows my cock and I actually yelp (how undignified).

It feels like being engulfed by flames, it’s warm and wet and absolutely mind-blowing. I try not to moan, but fail miserably as Snow starts moving his mouth, his head bobbing up and down my length. I can’t help but stare at him, at the way his pink lips stretch around my dick, at the way his eyes lock into mine.

“Are you enjoying this? I think I would like to have some feedback” he asks, using his hand to stroke me as he proceeds to lick his way from the root to the top and then sucks on the head, never breaking eye contact with me and making me moan loudly.

“You’re such a wanker…” I mutter, which makes him laugh.

“Speaking of which,” he says, “lick my hand and cast your lube spell on me, will you?” I do as he asks (I don’t even know why he doesn’t do it himself, but I enjoy running my tongue on his palm, so I don’t complain). He starts stroking his dick with a groan, then he takes me into his mouth and makes a satisfied sound at the back of his throat, making me shudder in pleasure. He starts a steady rhythm, pumping the base of my cock in time with the bobbing of his head and I make the most obscene sounds, but I can’t help it.

Aleister fucking Crowley, I should have known that his mouth was going to be the death of me.

My fingers slide into his hair and I involuntarily arch up into him, losing control as I feel my orgasm getting closer.

“Simon…I won’t last long…” I warn him.

“Where do you want to come?” he asks and the question alone nearly ends me.

“What?” I ask, because I’m not sure I’ve heard correctly. Simon Snow is giving me options.

“I want to taste you, is that ok?” he simply asks and it takes all the strength I have left to just nod. Fuck…

He brushes the tip of his tongue on the slit and then he takes my whole cock in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and I feel my eyes closing and his magic exploding in my veins as I come hard down his throat. My orgasm feels inevitable and desperately intense.

He moans, swallowing down my come. When I open my eyes, he’s on top of me, panting and still stroking his hard dick. I bury my fingers in his curls and bring him down for a kiss. He tastes slightly bitter; he probably tastes like me and I don’t know why, but this turns me on even more. I feel like I could come again.

I wrap my hands around his length and he lets me touch him, while his tongue licks into my mouth. I suck on his lower lip and then press our foreheads together.

“Come for me, Simon,” I whisper and he comes over my fingers with a soft whimper.

I don’t want this to ever end.

Fuck the bond.

**Simon**

We spend the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday in our room. In our bed.

Penny’s waiting for us when we go down for dinner on Sunday evening. She has a worried expression on her face and she asks if she can speak to me in private.

“I’ll go get some food,” says Baz.

“What’s up, Penny? Is everything ok?” I ask.

“Well, I had a chat with my dad and I found out that something strange is happening with the Humdrum…”

I move closer to her; my eyes open wide and my leg’s bouncing under the table. Finally, some news on the Humdrum; everything has been suspiciously quiet and we were both getting worried.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“He seems to have disappeared,” she says with a frown, “there are no new holes in the magickal atmosphere and something even more unusual is happening: the old ones are slowly disappearing.”

“What?!” I nearly shout in her ear.

“Shush, Simon!” she puts her hand on my mouth, “it’s supposed to be top secret information! I wasn’t even supposed to tell you, but you know we have our ‘no-secrets’ rule.”

I feel my heart sink. I’ve been keeping secrets from her for weeks. Maybe I should tell her about Baz, but a part of me doesn’t want her to know. It feels nice to be in this kind of bubble, where no one tries to make me think about the consequences of what we’re doing and plan on strategies or worry about what’s going to happen afterwards. I just want to feel close to him right now, and see how it goes.

“Anyway, my dad doesn’t have any idea. He’s been studying the holes for years and all they’ve ever done is get bigger and increase in number and all of a sudden, out of the blue, they started disappearing. He’s going mental, bless him.”

Baz comes back with a plate full of food for me and I smile at him.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that the holes are disappearing. Maybe, for once, I don’t have to worry about defeating the Humdrum or getting killed. Maybe, even for a bit, I’ll get to enjoy this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to go! I’m going to update Unintended next; I would like to finish it before the end of the week.  
> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter; comments make me super happy.


	7. Alter my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: I have quite a lot of content to cover in this chapter…  
> Also me: let’s start it with Simon singing an ode to Baz’s dick.  
> Me (1.5K of smut later): fudge, things got out of hand really fast…we can always move some content to chapter 8. 🙄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might have overdone it with the smut in this chapter…oh, well!  
> Please note that I have updated the tags (double check them if you’re unsure whether you might like or dislike something).  
> Super huge thanks to [ imhellakitty ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhellakitty/) and [ commeunoasis ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commeunoasis/pseuds/commeunoasis) for being two most amazing betas I could ask for. 💙💙

_When it comes, will it come without warning_

_Just as I’m picking my nose?_

_Will it knock on my door in the morning,_

_Or tread in the bus on my toes?_

_Will it come like a change in the weather?_

_Will its greeting be courteous or rough?_

_Will it alter my life altogether?_

_O tell me the truth about love._

**_W.H. Auden, “O Tell me the Truth about Love”_ **

****

**Simon**

I’ve realised that I like Baz’s cock.

I actually _really_ like it. The shape of it, longer than mine but not as thick, as it sits in my hand, hard and heavy.

I grew up in children’s homes, so I’ve seen plenty of dicks (not that I was staring, but there wasn’t much privacy). Some are a bit bent or lean towards one side and others look a bit sad or are too small or too big. Baz’s cock is just perfect.

I like the colour as well, the pink tinge of its tip, in sharp contrast with the paleness of his overall skin; it almost looks more alive than the rest of him. It’s so much cooler to the touch than mine, which is always boiling hot, so that when they slide snugly together in my fist, it just feels right. Having his cool skin against mine sends delicious shivers across my whole body. I also like the way it feels in my hand, how it thickens and becomes heavy under my touch, the soft velvety feeling of his foreskin when I pull it over the head.

I like the sounds Baz makes when I touch him there, the stifled moans, the soft puffs of air that leave his mouth as he tries to contain the noises he makes (I wish he didn’t). I like it when he swears. I love it when he calls my name and it sounds like a dirty word or like a plea.

Baz always smells nice. I thought it was because of his posh soap and that maybe he put cologne on his clothes or something, but it’s actually his skin that smells amazing. I like the cedar and bergamot fragrance, but I’ve realised that what really turns me on is actually Baz’s natural smell and it is stronger when he’s naked. I can appreciate it fully when I nuzzle his crotch or when I have him in my mouth. It makes me hard just to think about it.

I’ve heard girls complain about how disgusting it is to suck a guy’s dick or how bitter and horrible their come is. I love tasting him. It might be an acquired taste (like marmite perhaps), but I definitely like feeling his cock slide into my mouth, sucking on the tip, where the pre-come has gathered and then making him come down my throat. Hearing his soft gasps and feeling his hands in my hair, buried in my curls.

I just love touching him.

**Baz**

I wake up with Snow’s lips around my dick and I groan. This has become a pretty frequent occurrence and I can’t seem to stop him, as much as I know that I should put an end to it. He seems to be taking advantage of my half-asleep state, because he knows I’m less likely to ask him to stop or to pin him to the bed and have my way with him.

But this is wrong. He’s just reacting to the spell he’s cast and to my feelings. His magic mixed with my toxic desire is making him want me.

It’s all magic, nothing more.

Yet, I still manage to slide my fingers into his heavenly curls and tug at them slightly.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I say, my voice low and hoarse with sleep and want.

“Mhhh,” he mumbles, still busy driving me insane with his mouth; the vibration of his voice makes me shudder.

“Fuck, Simon…”

I can see he’s hard too; he’s fallen asleep naked, after our cuddles turned a bit debauched yesterday evening. His dick is hard and ruddy; my mouth waters just at the thought of having him in my mouth. I’ve never done it before. I’m terrified that my fangs might pop and I might hurt him. He’s never asked me to, but I have a feeling he would like me to reciprocate the favour.

“Snow, wait…”

“Himo,” he says. Always talking with his mouth full.

“Pardon?”

He releases my dick with an audible wet sound that makes my cock twitch.

“Simon. You know I like it when you use my name,” he says with a grin, “also, good morning, Baz!”

“Good morning to you too,” I say, trying not to smile back. How undignified to have your former mortal enemy suck you off and then smile at him first thing in the morning as he’s still licking the tip of your dick.

“Shit, you’re killing me…” I moan and he does it again, sucking on the head and swirling his tongue around it.

“Let’s change position, so that I can touch you too,” I suggest. He raises both eyebrows (he still hasn’t managed to just lift one, in spite of me showing him multiple times how to do it).

“But I want to taste you,” he protests, looking disappointed.

Crowley, this is like a wet dream come true.

I sit up and then move him, so that we’re facing opposite ends of the bed and his face is in my crotch, but I have access to his dick too.

“You could have told me you wanted to do a sixty-nine, you know?” he grins at me.

“How crass,” I say haughtily, which only makes him laugh.

“Posh twat,” he says, before swallowing me whole again. He’s been going at it for a while and I’m already close to my limit, so I start pumping his dick fast. I flick my thumb over the head and then pull his foreskin in short, sharp movements that make him groan. I roll his testicles between my fingers and he juts his hips forward. I think he likes that.

He starts taking me deeper down his throat and I suddenly feel my orgasm building up, my breath leaving my mouth in short, sharp bursts as I feel waves of pleasure washing over me.

“Simon…” I say and he moans, as I come down his throat.

His hot dick is still in my hand and I start stroking him at a steady pace. I’m still feeling warm and fuzzy and I throw all caution to the wind, flicking my tongue over the tip.

“Fuck!” he cries out.

I tell myself it should be ok, if I just use my tongue and try to avoid thinking about all the blood filling his cock. I run my tongue along his length, making him shudder and moan. He’s losing control so quickly, thrusting his hips against me, making the most arousing sounds. I almost wish I hadn’t come first, so that I could get off on listening to him.

I tug at his foreskin, pulling it over the head of his dick, twisting it between my fingers, then letting it slide back again. And then I lap at his pre-come and he suddenly moans my name and comes, long white streaks covering my fingers and my lips as he pushes his magic into me and makes me close my eyes and gasp. I lick my lips and taste his come. It’s salty and bitter, with that smoky aftertaste that is so typical of Snow. I like it.

“Fuck…oh my god,” he says, panting (and I know it was a good orgasm, because he’s swearing like a Normal), “that was out of this world.”

**Simon**

Penny’s waiting for us in the Dining Hall.

“You’re late for breakfast. Again,” she says, looking surprised and partly disappointed.

“Well, blame him this time,” says Baz, dropping his bag and then joining the queue for some food.

“What does he mean, Simon? You’re usually up way before Baz,” says Penny.

My fingers automatically find my curls and I start tugging at them, a blush creeping over my face.

“Penny, there’s something I haven’t told you…” I gather my courage and try to avoid her eyes, “Baz and I have been…doing stuff…”

“Stuff as in…research stuff? For the bond?” she asks looking puzzled and a little hopeful. We haven’t been to the library at all lately. I’ve kind of given up on finding a spell to break it. I don’t care anymore.

“In a sense, you could say that…but it’s more practical stuff…” I feel like I’m digging a hole and jumping into it head first.

“Like what? Using spells?”

“We’re using our hands and mouths and there’s magic involved, but not quite…” I swallow and she looks even more confused.

Dev sits in front of us.

“Bunce, they’ve been shagging,” he says matter-of-factly.

Penny’s mouth opens and she drops her fork and knife.

“You what?!” she says with a shrill voice.

“Good luck, Snow,” says Dev, leaving us with a smirk as he goes to get some food. Wanker!

“We’ve been…intimate…and it’s really nice,” I say and she seems to think about it for a few minutes, then points her finger at me.

“You! That’s why you kept on asking me about the bond changing your feelings or making you gay. Great snakes, Simon!”

“I know, I was a bit confused too at the beginning, but now I really like it. I really like him,” I add and my eyes search for him in the room, “I like Baz and he’s so nice to me now. Plus, he’s funny and smart and he helps me with homework.”

“I’m funny and smart and help you with homework too, but we don’t have sex!” she says.

“Penny, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I’m quite…happy.”

It feels weird to say it out loud for the first time, but as the words leave my mouth, I realise it’s the truth. For the first time in my life, I actually feel like things are going well, like I have control over something. Like I’m happy.

Baz sits down next to me and hands me a cup of tea and some toast.

“You!” says Penny, still pointing her finger, but this time at Baz.

“Moi?” says Baz, looking mildly surprised.

“You’ve been doing stuff of a sexual nature with Simon!”

Baz turns to look at me, a puzzled expression on his face.

“Did she not know?” he asks me and I shake my head.

“How come the bond still hasn’t been broken, then?” asks Penny, looking even more confused.

“Well, we haven’t done…everything…” says Baz, sipping on his tea, trying to look composed (I know he’s flustered though; I can read him like an open book now).

“Oh…” says Penny.

“What?” I ask, because I’m not entirely sure what they’re talking about.

“You probably need penetrative sex for the bond to break,” she says in a cold tone, as if she were explaining some algebra to me.

“Meaning…?”

“Anal sex,” says Baz staring at his tea.

Ah.

I hadn’t thought about that…

“Has he told you about the magic sharing?” asks Baz, changing the topic.

“Magic…sharing?” asks Penny, looking alarmed.

I tell her that I’ve been pushing my magic into Baz, little by little, mainly when we’re sleeping next to each other (I don’t tell her the part about orgasms and me giving him a lot of my magic all at once). I also say that since then my magic has been fine and I’ve been able to perform simple spells. I’m expecting her to be proud, but she looks worried.

“Simon, this is unheard of. I wonder if it’s all down to the bond…the whole world is topsy-turvy, first the Humdrum and now you two!” she says exasperated.

“What about the Humdrum?” asks Baz.

“Penny’s father is doing research on the holes in the Magickal Atmosphere and he said they’ve been disappearing,” I explain.

“Simon! It was supposed to be a secret!” she hisses at me.

“You can trust Baz, we’re on the same side now.”

**Baz**

Are we?

My heart skips a beat. Snow trusts me and he thinks we’re allies now.

What side are we on? The Old Families’? The Mage’s? Our own special one?

Is he going to change his mind, once the bond is broken?

Because now that Bunce has mentioned it, I know he will want to do more. He will think about it, mull things over and then he will ask me. He will want to fuck me and I don’t think I will be able to say no. Then the bond will dissolve and all of this will be over.

And I don’t think I’m ready for it.

Because I know it’s pathetic to feel so attached to something fake, but this is like a dream come true. To have him all to myself, to see him want me and touch me like I don’t disgust him.

A part of me wants this to be real, wishes it to be over to find out if my theory is correct. If he’s going to hate me when we’re no longer bound to each other. Or if maybe he isn’t going to.

But I’m a coward and I don’t want to risk it.

“I’m going to call my father this weekend. I need to ask him if the situation has changed since the beginning of September,” says Bunce.

“Wait a minute. The holes started disappearing at the beginning of September?” I ask, a doubt suddenly worming its way into my mind.

“Yes, since the day of the school picnic,” she says.

The idea that takes form in my brain is so absurd that I don’t even dare to voice it. But it’s a possibility.

“Bunce, does your father have maps of the holes?” I ask.

“Yes, he has a giant map of England with all the holes and the times they appeared.”

“Can I see a picture of it, please?” I ask, knowing full well that she’s going to say no.

“What for?” she asks suspiciously.

“I may have a theory about it, but I need to do some research first. This is important; I could be able to help your father,” she still looks unconvinced, so I add, “I’m not going to tell anyone, I swear. I can cast **An Englishman’s word is his bond** , if you want.”

“Penny, you can trust Baz,” says Snow with his mouth full of toast.

“I’ll think about it,” she eventually says and then it’s time for our first lesson.

**Simon**

We’re lying in the dark, completely naked, his cool skin against mine as I wrap myself around him, as close as I possibly can. I breathe in the smell of his skin and I sigh contentedly.

“When was the first time you went off?”

I pause for a moment, before answering. Why does he want to know that, all of a sudden?

“I was eleven,” I finally say. I’ve never told him; I haven’t even talked about it with Penny. Only the Mage knows.

“What happened?” he asks, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on my bare skin, making me shiver.

“I had gone to bed hungry,” I start saying and I can feel him tensing under me, “I had a horrible dream, that my stomach was on fire, and I woke up in the middle of the night. My magic was pouring out of me and the children’s home was…” I stop. His hand finds mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

“The home was burnt to the ground,” I whisper, “all the other kids woke up streets away.”

“But they were all fine, right?” he asks, rubbing my back.

“Yes, but still…”

“Your magic protected them. In the same way it protected me when you went off because of the chimera.”

We don’t say anything for a while, the silence stretching in the darkness, his fingertips still moving lazily across my back.

“I like this, you know?” I finally say, “I like…us.”

And I hope he understands what I mean, that I’m trying to say a lot more, but I don’t know the right words.

“I’m not good with people,” says Baz slowly, “I’m not good at being soft.”

“I think you are,” I say, kissing his chest, just above his heart.

“I think a part of me left me when my soul was taken. I’m missing something important.”

“You still have a soul,” I tell him, because I’m one hundred percent sure of it.

“When my mother died…a part of me died with her. I still had my father, but he was like an empty shadow of himself. And I was kind of left to myself. And then my father remarried and my sisters were born. And I know I should be grateful for them, but every time something happened, I felt like a little bit of my soul was leaving me. Like I didn’t exist anymore. I was disappearing a little bit at a time. I know it sounds horrible and selfish, but I felt like the fact they were moving on was chipping away at my humanity.”

I look up at him and I can see tears falling down the side of his eyes, so I get up on my elbows, to kiss them away.

“You have a soul and it’s beautiful,” I whisper in his ear.

I don’t know if he believes me. I really hope he does.

**Baz**

He’s just saying it because of the bond.

He doesn’t actually believe it.

I don’t know why I told him that. It was too personal and foolish, something I’ve buried deep in my heart and never told anyone.

It made me feel so vulnerable to say it out loud to Simon, but I still did it.

Because I love him and I wanted him to know how I truly feel.

Crowley, I don’t want this to end.

**Simon**

It’s Wednesday morning and it’s exactly two months since I bound us together with my magic. I kind of feel like celebrating. Agatha was never bothered with anniversaries and I could never remember ours, but this time it’s different.

“Baz?”

“Simon,” he says putting on his trousers and smoothing his hair with his fingers.

“It’s been two months,” I say, looking at him, trying to read his reaction.

He stills and then resumes his activities, avoiding my eyes.

“And yet we’re not any closer to solving this mystery,” he says.

“Would it be so bad, though?”

“What?” he asks.

“If we didn’t manage to solve it. If we stayed as we are,” I say tentatively.

“Snow, I want to go to university next year and I doubt you’ll be interested in studying Economics. Besides, what about the Humdrum?”

“The holes are disappearing and we haven’t had any attacks. You’ve heard Penny; things are fine. The war might end without the need to fight it.”

“That’s debatable and besides, it’s just one war. What about the Mage?”

“What about him? The war with the Old Families seems to be on hold. Why are you worried about the Mage?”

“Because he’s your guardian and he hates me and my family. What if he asks you to fight me? Or to kill me?” he asks, finally looking at me, a pained look in his stormy eyes.

“I would never do it!”

“Are you sure? Can you swear that we’re never going to fight again, even if he asks you to? What if we manage to break the bond and you suddenly realise that you still hate me and I’m a wanker? Would you still spare me then?” he says, a frown on his face.

And I have no idea how we managed to end up arguing, when all I wanted to do was kiss him and have a cuddle and finally tell him that I love him.

**Baz**

By midday, Snow’s magic is buzzing on my skin. He would have normally started leaking it and the smell of smoke would have made everyone choke, but instead he’s making me drunk on his magic.

I end up dragging him into an empty classroom to tell him to calm the fuck down.

“I’m not going to kill you. Ever!” he shouts at me, his eyes like fire.

“Ok, I get it!” I say.

“No, you don’t! Because you don’t believe me, you dickhead!”

“Snow, please. We’re going to be late for our Magickal Words lesson.”

“Baz, I mean it,” he says in a pleading tone.

“All right, I believe you.”

I don’t.

I can’t.

**Simon**

My magic’s been all over the place all day. I’ve been pouring it into Baz since this morning and he nearly blew up the entire classroom during Magickal Words practice, because he was not used to having so much of it. Miss Possibelf looked really worried and wanted to have a quiet word with us, but he just pretended to have used the wrong spell. I think she saw through our bullshit.

I’m still on edge as I sit down for dinner, Baz on my left side and Penny in front of me. She’s still acting weird after I told her about me and Baz.

“Simon? Can I sit next to you?”

I turn and Agatha is looking at me with her beautiful brown eyes, long hair falling into her face as he balances a tray on her arm.

“Agatha, sure!” I say, feeling guilty because I have completely ignored her for the past two months.

I can’t believe I caused the bond because I was so mad at Baz for flirting with her. I have barely even thought about her for the past two months.

“How are you doing, Aggie?” I ask and I feel Baz tense next to me.

“I’m ok, what about you?”

We chat for a bit and Penny starts asking her about school, but Baz is quiet. He’s just sitting there, staring at his plate without eating anything, moving the food around with his fork, an unreadable expression on his face. My hand automatically moves towards him, the need to touch him and reassure him almost like an instinct, when Agatha suddenly grabs my arm with both of her hands and I freeze.

“Simon, I’m so sorry about the bond. I know it’s partly my fault, because I broke up with you in such a terrible way and I made you go after Baz,” she says, “I’ve asked my dad and he’s been doing some research on bonds.”

“Has he found anything?” asks Penny, but all I can think about is Baz and the fact that he’s sitting there looking lost and angry, his shoulders stiff and his eyes hard.

I suddenly feel warm and nauseous. There’s a trail of sweat running down my back and on my temples; my skin’s itchy and my magic is fizzing on my skin, pouring itself into Baz, where our legs are connected under the table. I move a little bit closer.

“Aggie,” I start, thinking of an excuse I can use to leave and drag Baz away. To run to our room and just breathe in each other’s arms, to calm down and maybe talk, but she takes my hand instead and squeezes it.

“Simon, my dad thinks he’s found a counter-spell. There’s an experimental study on dissolving bonds that has been trialled in China and my dad’s made contact with the mages who have supervised it. We should be able to get you out of it by the end of next week!”

Penny looks excited and starts asking her a million questions, but I feel my stomach drop.

They’ve found a way to dissolve the bond.

I don’t want it.

I feel a wave of nausea and I nearly puke, my skin feels on fire and Agatha yelps and lets go of me as she realises that I’m covered in red angry blisters. I turn and look at Baz, his eyes open wide and a horrified expression on his face as he stares at me and then at his arms and hands, a thin layer of ice making his skin glow.

“Fuck!” I shout, circling his waist with my arm and bringing him closer, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight.

“Simon, what’s wrong?” asks Penny, looking terrified, “you were not apart, why is the bond reacting like that?”

I don’t know and Baz looks shocked.

“I’m going to take him to the infirmary; you stay here,” I say, dragging him to his feet and rushing him out. 

**Baz**

Shakespeare wrote in _Othello_ that jealousy is a green-eyed monster.

He was wrong.

The monster has grey eyes.

By the time we leave the Dining Hall, Snow’s body pressed firmly against mine, our skin is slowly going back to normal.

I feel so pathetic. The jealousy I felt when Wellbelove started touching him was so strong, that I made Snow feel sick. And her words about her father finding a counter-spell made me panic.

Fuck…

We walk past the infirmary and Snow pulls my hand, taking us out of the building.

“Wait, Snow, where are we going?”

“Mummer’s house,” he simply says.

**Simon**

We nearly run up the steps to our room; Baz closes the door behind us and just stands there, his back against the wall, his eyes fixed on me.

“What happened?” I ask him, because I know that it was him, “I thought the bond made us feel unwell only if we were apart, but we were sitting next to each other. Our legs were touching.”

“I don’t know, Snow. Since when am I the expert?” he says, pretending to be calm, but I feel the rage bubbling in his voice.

I could feel his magic earlier. He’s the one who made the bond react and deep down I have a feeling I know why, but I need him to tell me.

“Why are you calling me by my surname again?” I ask, stepping closer.

“Who fucking cares? Why does it even matter?” he shouts, “your future father-in-law has found a way to get you out of this shitty situation. By the end of next week, we will be back to trying to kill each other and you will despise me.”

I punch the wall, right next to his face, and he jumps.

“Shut the fuck up and listen to me, Baz. I am not interested in Agatha. Things have changed and are not going to go back to how they were before. How many times do I need to tell you?”

His expression suddenly changes. His eyebrows shift and his eyes close. When they open again, there’s no more fury in them, just infinite sadness. His bottom lip quivers and I realise he’s about to cry, that I’ve made Baz cry, but then he leans forward and his lips meet mine.

It’s a soft kiss, his fingertips tracing my cheeks like I’m made of glass and I might shatter if he holds me too tight. I open my mouth and let his tongue slide inside, pressing my chest flush against him, my hands on his hips, his arms on my shoulders. And we kiss for what feels like an eternity, taking our time exploring each other’s mouths, just like the first time.

Then his hands start slowly unbuttoning my shirt, carefully roaming all over my warm skin with cool fingertips, leaving goosepimples behind. My tie comes undone under his expert touch, then my belt unbuckled, followed by the sound of my zip and my trousers hitting the floor.

I find myself half naked, standing in front of him, as my eyes finally rise to meet his.

“Can you lie on the bed for me, please?” he asks, his voice low, about to break. I step out of my trousers and shoes, then get rid of my pants. I lace our fingers together and I take him to bed.

He’s still wearing his uniform and I’m completely naked, so I try to undress him, but he shakes his head and starts kissing me again, unhurriedly, like we have all the time in the world. He moves to my neck and starts gently sucking on the skin under my earlobe. I know I will find a love bite when I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow morning, but I’m secretly happy about it.

I like it when he marks my skin. It makes me feel like we belong together.

His tongue traces my collar bone, then he peppers kisses down my chest, slowly circling my nipple with his lips and sucking on it. I moan softly, my fingers sinking into his soft hair, bringing him closer while he moves to my other nipple and laps at it, flicking his tongue on it.

“Baz…” I say, not knowing what I want to say. Beg him for more? Ask him if he’s ok? Tell him to stop and talk to me?

But he’s relentless and continues exploring my skin with his fingers and mouth, moving down my torso, his tongue dipping inside my belly button. He hovers over my dick, but he doesn’t touch it, kissing the inside of my thighs instead, gently rolling my balls in his hand and spreading my legs further apart, lifting my knees until I’m at his mercy and I feel my face catch fire.

“Baz?” I ask and he takes his wand, casting a thorough cleaning spell on me. I feel his magic heating me up even more, on the outside as well as on the inside and I wonder what he’s planning on doing. Then I suddenly feel his hand spreading my arse-cheeks and his tongue giving me a quick tentative lick there.

“Fuck!” I shout, all my nerve endings alight. I’ve never even thought that I could feel like this, “Baz, what are you doing?”

My breath hitches as he does it again, licking at my entrance and then gently biting my buttock. I had no idea I would enjoy something like this so much, that a simple stroke of his tongue could make me feel like I’m melting, like I’m losing control and sinking into pleasure.

“Do you like it?” he asks, his voice deep and with a tone I’ve never heard before.

“Yes, but…” and that’s all he needs to continue lapping and licking me, the dirtiest sounds leave my mouth and I’m so ridiculously loud and turned on that I don’t even care if anyone hears me. I call his name over and over again, desperately bringing him closer, my fingers buried in his hair and gripping it tightly. My cock is so hard that it’s almost painful, leaking pre-come onto my belly. But I don’t want to touch myself. I want him to do it.

“You don’t belong to her,” he suddenly whispers and I nearly miss it, because I’m sobbing incoherently while his mouth is driving me insane with pleasure.

“What?” I ask, tugging gently at his hair, so that I can look him in the eyes. He still looks upset, but there’s a strange light that flickers in his eyes and I suddenly realise what I’ve failed to understand earlier.

He’s jealous.

“Nothing…” he mumbles, but I close my legs and lower them, preventing him from continuing.

“Baz, I’m not in love with Agatha. I have zero intention of going back with her,” I try to reassure him.

“Whatever,” he says, his fingers finally closing around my dick and giving it a long stroke.

“I’m yours…” I manage to mumble, “I’m all yours.”

His hand stops and he looks like he’s about to fall apart.

“Say that again,” he whispers, almost pleads.

“I’m yours,” I say and then his mouth closes around my cock, making me gasp and cry out his name. He’s never done it before; I think he was afraid of biting me, even though he’s never said anything about it. But I always wanted to know what it would feel like to have Baz going down on me.

It’s clumsy and frantic, but it feels mind-blowing and so intimate. I keep on babbling that I’m his and he’s mine, that we belong together. And before I realise it, I’m calling his name as I come hard down his throat, the orgasm making my whole body tingle as I see fireworks through my closed eyelids.

When I eventually come down, trying to catch my breath, Baz stands up and goes to the bathroom.

“Wait, Baz,” I call him, already feeling desperate because he’s leaving my side, “where are you going?”

“To wash my mouth,” he says as he disappears into the en suite.

I want to tell him that I love him, but somehow, I can never find the right moment.

**Baz**

I drag him out to go hunting, before he can put his hands and mouth on me, in spite of being rock hard and desperate for his touch. Snow insists that he wants to return the favour, but I don’t have the heart to let him do it.

Because if he does, I’m going to end up telling him that I love him. I was so close to saying it out loud earlier. When he said that he’s mine, I thought my heart was going to burst.

I want him so badly.

I want him to love me, but I’m so terrified that he’s just saying those things because of the bond.

I need to get out of this.

I could tell him that I love him; that should be enough to break the bond, since his spell was “ **Show me your feelings** ”. But the thought of telling him how I feel and then seeing his loving expression turn into hate would kill me. What if I break the bond with my love confession and then his old feelings come back?

I could wait and let Dr Wellbelove unbind us. Have one more week of bliss. But what if it doesn’t work?

Or we could have sex.

**Simon**

It’s nearly midnight by the time we come back. For the very first time, he has allowed me to watch him feed. I don’t know what’s going on this evening, but something’s wrong. He’s acting strange.

I hold his hand on the way back to our room; Baz is quiet. It’s November; the night is cold and Baz is shivering under his coat, so when we get back, I go to the en suite and start running a hot shower. I take him by the hand and gently guide him to the bathroom with me.

He lets me undress him and then watches me as I take off my clothes, his eyes never leaving mine. We stand under the hot water and he sighs as his body finally warms up. I take his posh soap and start washing him, my fingers are clumsy on his skin, but I do my best, because I want to be soft and loving. If I can’t tell him how I feel, I want my actions to speak out for my heart. I wash his hair, even though he’s taller and I struggle, but he still lets me do it, a blissful expression on his face.

He’s hard and I start touching him, without asking for his permission; he simply nods when I search his eyes for an answer. He rests his forehead on my shoulder as he watches my hand stroke his cock, soft gasps leaving his mouth, his fingers holding my hips. And then I’m hard again too, so I take both of our dicks together and start pumping them at the same time, his foreskin sliding against mine with a delicious velvety feeling.

He captures my lips in a kiss as he comes, a small whimper leaving his mouth and entering mine.

“Come for me, Simon,” he whispers in my ear and my knees nearly buckle as I come all over him.

We finish washing, then I dry him and brush his hands away when he reaches for his clothes. I want him naked next to me in bed. I want to feel his cool skin against mine all night long and then, when we wake up in the morning, I want to touch him again and again, taste him and make him fall apart under my hands. Tell him that I’m his and he’s mine.

Tell him that I love him.

We lie in the dark, then his hand finds mine and he places a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Want to play our game?” I ask and he nods.

“I’ll start then,” I say, stroking his hair, “do you want to break the bond?”

He doesn’t answer at first; he just breathes into my chest for a while. Is he listening to my heartbeat?

“I don’t know. It’s not convenient for either of us, but I…just, I don’t know. Do you?”

“No, I don’t,” I say and I would like to see his face, but the sky is cloudy and the moon’s hiding tonight, so it’s too dark for me to see anything.

“Can we spend Christmas together?” I ask.

“Is that a question or a request?” he asks with a teasing tone.

“Both.”

“Well…yes, if you still want to, after the bond is broken. You can come to Hampshire with me. I can introduce you to my family,” he says with a soft tone.

“I’d love to,” I reply, looking up at him and I hope he can see the smile on my face.

“Are you still not gay?” he asks quietly.

“I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe Dev is right. I could be bi…”

I’ve actually been thinking about it (for once) and I’m still confused about it. But it doesn’t really matter. Maybe I don’t have to stick a label on my feelings. Maybe I can simply love Baz, whether I’m gay or not.

“Simon, there’s something I wanted to tell you,” he says and I can feel that his tone has changed and he’s no longer relaxed. He’s tensing up and I move a bit, so that my face is resting on the pillow next to his. Our noses are almost touching and I can see him a bit better. I’m sure he can read me like an open book; my eyes are staring into his and his gaze is fixed on them.

“I…” he starts, “I want to have sex with you,” he says.

“We’ve just had sex and I think I’m a bit tired. But if you want to do it again, I am more than happy to blow you.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he says and he takes my hand and slides it over his hips, then leaves it on his arse.

“I want you to fuck me,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to go and hide before you start throwing stuff at me. Sorry about the cliffhanger!


	8. The truth about love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to all the people who have left comments and kudos, you’ve really been super lovely.  
> A special shiny massive thanks to [ imhellakitty ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhellakitty/) and [ commeunoasis ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commeunoasis/pseuds/commeunoasis) for being two most amazing betas I could ask for and for being so supportive! 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy the ending of this story.

**Simon**

“I want you to fuck me,” he says.

And I don’t know what to say, because I really want to do it too. I want him so badly. I’ve been thinking about it since Baz mentioned it in the Dining Hall the other day.

I want to know what it feels like to slide my fingers inside him. To open him up, little by little, feeling him tremble under my touch, looking at me like his life depends on me. To make him beg me to continue. I want to feel all of him, make him completely mine, be the first one to take him. I want to sink into him and feel like we’re one thing, like I can’t tell where I end and he begins.

But I don’t want to break the bond. I don’t want things to change. What if he goes back to hating me? What if he doesn’t want me anymore and I’m left with all those feelings for him and they all go to waste?

“Baz, I…I need to think about it.”

He’s quiet for a while and I wish I could see his face, but the room is too dark.

“Ok,” he says. He sounds hurt.

“It’s just that I don’t want to break the bond,” I say, because I suddenly realise that he’s probably thinking that I don’t want him.

“Oh…” he says.

I find his hand in the dark and I press my lips on his palm. Then I wrap my warm body around his and I hold him close. His head rests on my chest and I stroke his soft hair, whispering that I’m still his, for as long as he wants me.

I’m his and he’s mine.

**Baz**

I wake up and find Simon staring at me, a soft smile on his lips.

“Good morning, darling,” he whispers, pressing a kiss on my forehead.

Can your heart burst if you’re too happy?

I first thought he only wanted me because of the sex; because he was enjoying being touched and feeling wanted. But that’s not all of it. The way he’s looking at me and kissing my lips (in spite of my morning breath), the way we cuddle before falling asleep and how he holds my hand, it all points to something different.

How can this feel so good, if it’s fake? How can magic recreate such a complex and fickle feeling like love? I thought it wasn’t possible. The teachers always said it wasn’t. All the books that I’ve read always claimed that love is something that magic cannot create.

No spell can make you fall in love with someone else.

Does it mean that this is true, then? That it’s not the bond, but that Simon actually has feelings for me? Because the way he’s looking at me, the impossible blue of his eyes flickering with that warm light, the way his fingers are stroking my face (like I’m the most precious thing in the world), all of that makes me almost believe that I was wrong.

That he loves me and this is real.

I want to know the truth.

**Simon**

In the afternoon we go to the library after the lessons. We’ve given up searching for books on bonds and we’re just doing homework. Dev is drawing and Niall is absent-mindedly stroking his hair while he reads a book. 

Penny and Baz take turns helping me with the things I struggle with, but I’m getting better and I feel like maybe Baz was right. Maybe I need to think about my future and stop allowing the Mage to just treat me like a weapon. But I don’t know how; I still owe him so much and I don’t want to disappoint him.

It’s nearly time for dinner when Premal arrives. The Mage wants to see me, so I just take Baz’s hand and we walk there in silence.

“Premal, you can leave,” I say and he starts to object, so I say it with magic, “ ** _Your presence is not required_**.”

He turns and runs down the corridor and Baz smirks at me.

“We should have thought of doing that sooner,” he says.

“Baz, before I go in, there’s something I need to ask you.”

The smile fades from his lips and he nods.

“Do you want Dr Wellbelove to unbind us?”

He thinks about it for a few seconds, but then he shakes his head.

“No, I’d rather break the bond in another way,” he replies.

“In that case, please let me speak to the Mage on my own. I’ll leave the door open and you can wait here. I swear I’ll be back quickly and as soon as we start feeling unwell, I’ll come back to you.”

**Baz**

What is he planning on doing?

“Do you trust me?” he asks. I don’t have to think about the answer.

“Yes.”

He kisses me, his lips soft and warm against mine, his tongue darting out to lick my top lip, making me hold my breath and reach out for more. But before I can open my eyes, he’s gone.

He knocks on the door and I sit on the floor, my back to the wall. He gets in, leaving the door ajar and he’s just a few feet away, but I already miss him.

“Simon, my boy!” says the Twat.

“Good evening, Sir.”

His voice is strong and I close my eyes, focusing on how confident he sounds. On the feeling of his lips on mine. On his fingers stroking my face this morning. On the love that I feel for him.

“I received a call from Dr Wellbelove yesterday. Brilliant news, my lad, he’s found a way to break the bond! We’re going to fly you and the Pitch boy to China as soon as I get permission from his father, who’s being difficult as usual. By the end of next week, you will be finally rid of him.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but we’re not going to go,” he says. He sounds so sure of himself that it sends a shiver down my spine.

“Pardon?”

“Baz and I are not going to go to China, Sir.”

“You don’t have to worry about the passport situation; I’ve already got yours sorted and I’m sure the Coven will force Mr Pitch to give me Basilton’s.”

“I don’t want to break the bond and neither does Baz. We’re fine as we are. We appreciate all the work the Coven and Dr Wellbelove have done for us, but we have decided not to accept your offer.”

I hold my breath as I realise that this is probably the first time Simon stands up for himself against the Mage.

“This is insane! Outrageous! Why would you refuse to break the bond? Has the Pitch boy tricked you in some kind of way? Simon, he’s just plotting our downfall!”

“Baz hasn’t done anything. This was my idea, Sir.”

His voice doesn’t quiver and he sounds so confident that I can picture him jutting out his chin and staring at the Mage defiantly. I want to get up and run to him. I want to grab his hand and feel his magic rush inside my veins and then use it against the Mage. But I stay put, because he asked me to and I trust him.

I’m feeling cold though; my fingers are numb and I know my teeth are going to start chattering soon. I need him.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go now. Baz is going to start freezing soon and I’m not feeling great either,” says Simon, his voice strained.

“You’re not going anywhere until we get this sorted, Simon! You’re acting in the most unreasonable way. We need to get you out of this bond, so that we can continue fighting the war,” he sounds absolutely furious and I'm worried that he might hurt Simon. “The world of Mages needs you; are you going to abandon everyone or are you going to fulfil the prophecy?”

Simon hesitates and I’m about to stand up and rescue him, when I hear his voice, loud and clear.

“The Humdrum’s no longer a threat and the Old Families have stopped fighting. Why can’t I simply live my life?”

“What life are you talking about? Your purpose is to fight.”

“I’m not sure it is anymore, Sir. And I’m not going to let you hurt Baz, nor me. Goodbye.”

**Simon**

I shut the door behind me and I hear the Mage shouting and swearing in his office.

Baz is sitting on the floor, hugging his knees and looking even paler than usual. I crouch down next to him and my arm circles his back, bringing him closer, my head resting on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long,” I say and he shivers in my arms.

“You were absolutely brilliant, love” he says and he closes his eyes, snuggling up next to me. I let my magic envelop him in a warm embrace.

I always thought that Baz was like a rock. One of those high, beautiful snowy peaks, standing tall and solid above everyone else. Perfect and proud, good at everything he does. I hadn’t realised that was just the image he projects. I had no idea how vulnerable and insecure he actually is. That he has cracks too.

After two months spent together, I know how much he hides, how hard it is for him to live his life, pretending he isn’t a vampire, trying to please his family and the Coven and living in fear of being rejected. I know how much it hurts him that his father has moved on. He’s just a boy who misses his mum and who is afraid of not having a soul. Who doesn’t even know if he’s going to live forever or if he’s going to turn me into a vampire with a heated kiss. He’s scared of so many things and I just want to protect him.

I had no idea how much I could love him.

I had no idea, but we actually match.

We match.

**Baz**

When we come back from the Catacombs, we take a shower together and then we snuggle up in bed, lying next to each other, my eyes locked with his. The dim light from the table lamp casts shadows on his face and I am trying to memorise all of his freckles and moles.

He still hasn’t touched me since I asked him to have sex with me yesterday evening.

I don’t know if he still wants me.

Maybe I was wrong about his feelings.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, his fingers finding mine under the duvet.

“World peace,” I reply, but he starts laughing and kisses my nose.

“Tell me the truth, come on.”

“I can’t,” I say, because I don’t want him to break my heart. I already feel like I’m falling apart and that I’ve spent the past two months living a marvellous dream that is about to end. I don’t want to wake up and face the burning light of day.

“Baz, tell me what’s worrying you,” he tries to coax me, sliding his fingers under the elastic band of my underwear and cupping my arse, trailing kisses on my neck and sucking on my earlobe.

“Do you want me?”

It slips out. I didn’t mean to ask him, but I just said it. And now I can’t take it back.

He grinds his hips into mine and I can feel that he’s rock hard.

“Of course, I want you. All the time.”

He starts kissing me and pulls down my pants, then he gets rid of his and he starts pumping our dicks together. I love the feeling of his cock sliding against mine, like they belong together. I love it when he spills all over me and then uses his come to finish me off, the wet sounds it makes turn me on to no end (I’m disturbed, ask anyone).

I’m going to miss it so much, when this is over.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about what you asked me yesterday,” he whispers, “about fucking you. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I couldn’t concentrate during the lessons, because I kept on wondering what it would feel like to be inside you.”

“I really want you,” I pant into his mouth, “I want you so badly.”

He hums as I grab his buttocks and get impossibly closer to him, our bodies pressed flush against each other, our legs tangled up and noses touching.

“Can I…” he starts, then licks his lips,” can I put my fingers inside you?”

“Yes…please,” I’m already begging and he hasn’t even started.

I get up, making him whine at the loss of contact, and I rummage under the bed, then hand him a small bottle of lube. He raises both eyebrows and looks at me with surprise written all over his freckled face.

“Why do you have lube, if you can conjure it with magic?”

“This stuff is better for anal penetration,” I explain, feeling myself blush.

“Wait, have you done this before?” he asks, gently pushing me down onto the bed and kneeling between my legs. He spreads them open and I grab my wand to cast a cleaning spell on myself.

“Yes, I have…” I reply and he smirks. I’m tempted to tell him that I always think about him, when I do it.

“Then you can tell me what you like and if you need me to do things differently,” he says.

He pours some lube onto his fingers and then I hook my hands under my knees and lift them up, hoping that he won’t be put off by what he sees.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous…” I guess I was worried about nothing.

“Simon…” I sigh, trying to relax, when I feel his finger circling my entrance.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he says and then starts pushing it in, ever so slowly, working his finger inside knuckle by knuckle, stopping to check that I’m fine until it’s all inside me. His fingers are shorter than mine, but they’re definitely thicker and rougher. I take a deep breath and ask him to move.

He slowly pulls out and then pushes back in and I let out a soft gasp, because Simon Snow is touching me there and he’s so warm. He’s inside me and it already feels like I might shatter. How am I going to survive him fucking me for good?

“Are you ok?” he asks.

“Yes, it feels good. You can move a bit faster or change the angle a bit.”

He does both and it feels mind-blowing already. I try not to think about the fact that Simon’s finger is fucking me and that he’s still hard, his eyes focussed on me, his pupils larger than I’ve ever seen them. I feel so exposed, like I’m burning under his gaze.

“Maybe we should turn off the lights,” I suggest, then try to stifle a moan as he fucks me faster, pushing in even deeper and brushing against my prostate.

“I want to see you,” he says, his voice deep with desire, “fuck, you’re so tight. Can I add another finger?” he asks and I nod, because I don’t trust my voice. He’s lazily stroking his own cock; I can’t believe how hard he is. I can’t believe that he’s that hard for me.

I feel my hole getting stretched, but this time he doesn’t wait and starts fucking me with his fingers straight away, setting a steady pace and making me groan, quickly losing control. I feel my chest expand and my heart beating faster at the skim of his fingers against the delicious bundle of nerves inside me. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, then I feel his tongue lick the tip of my dick, sucking the pre-come that has gathered there and I can’t hold it anymore. I start moaning, low and raw, letting him destroy what’s left of my sanity with his fingers and his mouth.

I pant and babble incoherently, my hands buried in his curls, pressing him even closer, and then I decide to open my eyes and look down. And he’s staring at me with a hungry look on his face, his hand moving, in and out, while his lips are stretched around the base of my cock, sucking me so deep.

“Simon, I…”

He moans and before I even realise it, I’m coming hard inside his mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever come for so long and so hard in my whole life; it’s never ending and I feel it down to my toes, like an electric current, amplified by his magic rushing through my veins and making my skin tingle with pleasure.

“Fuck…Simon, fuck…”

His fingers slide out and I whimper, then he gets up and starts stroking his cock, staring at me, his lip pulled between his teeth. I reach out for him and my hand joins his and then he’s coming on me with a breathy little gasp, his eyebrows creasing in pleasure as he covers my dick with white long spurts.

And then he kisses me again, slow and soft, and I taste myself on his tongue as he collapses on top of me. I feel surrounded by his warmth and his magic.

I feel wanted and desired.

I think I feel loved.

**Simon**

On Friday afternoon Penny’s already sitting at our usual table in the library. Dev and Niall’s books and bags are there, but they’re nowhere in sight.

We sit down and Penny looks around and then casts a silencing spell on our table.

“What’s the matter?” I ask.

She sighs, like she’s fed up with something, then gets a purple folder out of her bag.

“I’ve got pictures of my dad’s maps. But you have to promise you won’t tell anyone,” she adds, pointing her finger at Baz.

“I can swear with magic, Bunce,” Baz says, but she shakes her head.

“Simon trusts you, so I do too.”

Baz studies the maps with Penny and his face lights up.

“Simon, when were you born? You’d think I’d know, but I can’t remember you ever celebrating your birthday.”

He holds my hand and squeezes it tight, because he sees that I’ve tensed up.

“I don’t know. They just guessed when they found me. They put 1997 on my papers.”

His lips press a small kiss on my cheek and he looks at me with soft eyes.

I want to celebrate my birthday with him next year.

“The first hole was documented in 1998, so it makes sense. You said that you first went off when you were eleven and that’s the biggest one yet. You lit up the magickal atmosphere like a Christmas tree,” Baz says, pointing at a hole on the map, “when did it happen?”

“August,” I reply and I’m getting confused. What has that got to do with me?

“August 2008,” he points at different spots on the map.

“But I’ve never been to those places!” I argue.

Baz squeezes my hand and smiles at me.

“I don’t think you have to be there, love. To make it happen.”

He finds the holes linked to when I went off with the chimera in our fifth year and then we look at the most recent photos, the ones of the holes reducing and disappearing.

“Are you saying that I’m the Humdrum?” I ask, feeling the panic rising in my throat, but Baz’s hand keeps me grounded. His kind smile makes the anxiety simmer down.

“No, but somehow your magic is linked to him. When you go off, the holes appear and become bigger, for some unknown reason,” he explains.

Penny’s been quiet, but she nods and looks at Baz.

“I think Baz is right, Simon. Your magic is so powerful that every time you went off in the past, you tore a hole in the magickal atmosphere. But that doesn’t explain why they’ve been disappearing.”

“It’s because he’s been giving me his magic,” Baz explains.

And it all starts to make sense. If my excess magic is tearing the holes, then the fact that I’m giving it to Baz prevents me from creating more. I haven’t gone off once since the bond started, I haven’t even leaked it out. Baz has absorbed all of it.

“Then if I keep on giving it to you, the holes might eventually disappear and the Humdrum won’t attack us anymore,” I say excitedly.

“It doesn’t need to be me,” says Baz, avoiding my eyes, “You could give it to anyone.”

“I don’t want to give my magic to anyone but you,” I say to him and our eyes lock, “it will only ever be you.”

“You say that now, but once the bond is broken, you can find another recipient,” he argues.

“No,” I reply shaking my head, “only you, Baz. I don’t want to give it to anyone else.”

Penny looks like she doesn’t know what to say and we sit in awkward silence for a few minutes. Then I get up and say that I need to find Dev to ask him something.

I’ve made up my mind. I think Baz needs to see that I love him, bond or not.

**Baz**

Simon leaves and Bunce looks at me with a gentle expression on her face.

“I don’t think it’s just the magic sharing, you know?” she says.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Well, it’s definitely part of the problem and the fact that he hasn’t gone off and is giving you all his excess magic is probably the main reason why the holes are disappearing,” she explains, pointing at the maps, “but I also think it’s down to the way Simon feels.”

We both look at him, moving around the shelves and smiling at Dev, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder as my cousin gives him the middle finger.

“He’s changed,” Bunce says, “he’s more settled. He’s happy; he told me so himself. And I don’t think he’s ever felt that way in his whole life. Think about it, Baz. Simon’s grown up on his own in children’s homes, abandoned by his parents, with no one to show him love. There must have been giant holes inside him and they were getting bigger and bigger as the years went by. When I first met him, he was so broken and raw, but look at him now.”

I often wonder how much he must have suffered. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for him. To grow up alone, feeling rejected and hopeless. When we sit in the dark and ask each other questions, sometimes he gives me little snippets of his childhood, like little windows on his soul that I get to peek at for a few minutes. And every time he ends up in tears in my arms, his magic pouring into me, until he falls asleep with a sigh.

“I was probably part of the problem. I used to make his life miserable…” I say bitterly.

Bunce shakes her head and places her hand on my arm.

“You both used to drive each other mental. But now it’s different. He’s happy because of you. He finally feels safe. His magic is finally working,” she smiles and looks at him, “I think he loves you, Baz.”

I spent years thinking that my love for him was this twisted feeling that was going to make me burn. That it was going to destroy me.

I had no idea that I could love him even more. That my love could grow and become something good. That I could make him happy with it.

I never thought that I could be happy too. That I could feel him loving me back and that it would save my soul. 

**Simon**

We go back to our room before dinner, hand in hand, in silence. We’re both thinking about our conversation in the library (I don’t know what he talked about with Penny, but they both looked a bit weird afterwards).

I managed to ask Dev for some advice and now I think I know what I’m supposed to do.

We shut the door and he gives me a funny look. He’s smiling at me, like he knows something and doesn’t want to share it, and I love the way his lips curl into a genuine smile, instead of his old smirk. I kiss his lips, softly and tenderly, in a way I didn’t think I was capable of kissing, then I rest my forehead on his and lace our fingers together.

“Baz?”

“Hmh?”

“I want you,” I say and I feel the heat in my voice, like it’s burning me from the inside.

“I want you too,” he replies, stroking the inside of my wrist. I give him some of my magic and he holds his breath.

“I want you now,” I whisper, crashing our lips together, suddenly feeling the need to have him naked next to me. To feel him and taste him.

“What about the bond?” he manages to ask, in between kisses.

“I’m going to show you that my feelings for you won’t change even if it breaks. I want you so badly,” I say tugging at his clothes, almost wishing I could vanish them all with a flick of my wand.

It takes us ages to reach the bed, to finally remove our clothes, one painful item at a time, because we don’t want to stop kissing and touching and tasting each other.

Baz takes his time running his cool fingers down my chest, brushing against my nipples and running his tongue on each of them, making me moan. I want to be inside him so badly, but I also want to take things slowly, to savour the moment and commit it to memory. Because I don’t want to forget the way his lips part and his breath hitches when my hand wraps around his cock or how his eyes are fluttering close when I whisper in his ear that he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life and I want to make him mine.

I want him to remember the feeling of my slick finger sliding inside him, a little more confident than last time, when I felt like I was going to fall apart and I was terrified of hurting him. I add another finger and he whimpers into my mouth, my tongue sliding against his, feeling him tugging possessively at my curls, bringing me closer.

“Simon, please…” he pleads. I add a third finger and he still feels so impossibly tight that I wonder how in Merlin’s name I’m going to be able to fuck him, but he begs me to and I can’t resist anymore.

“Condom,” he says, already out of breath.

“We don’t really need one, Baz. We’re both virgins and you definitely can’t get pregnant.”

“I’m a vampire Simon,” he reminds me, “I don’t want to risk turning you.”

“Baz, I strongly doubt that you can turn me with your arse,” I argue, “I’ve never heard of anyone becoming a vampire after having sex with one!”

“It’s not like they would go on BBC news to tell the whole country, you plonker!”

“Dickhead.”

“Idiot.”

“Posh twat.”

“You’re such a wanker, come here,” he says and his mouth is on mine, his fingers closing around my cock, guiding me towards him.

“Wait, apparently it hurts less if you lie on all fours. You should turn,” I tell him, but he shakes his head.

“I want to kiss you and I’m ready. I’m going to be fine,” he murmurs against my lips.

I lift his legs and put two pillows under him, trying to breathe and calm down, focusing on him. On his perfect stormy eyes, on his ruffled dark hair and his parted lips.

“Merlin, you’re breath-taking…” I tell him. 

**Baz**

I’ve never felt more vulnerable or turned on in my life.

I want him so badly.

He finally covers his dick in lube and positions himself on top of me.

“Ready?” he asks and I nod.

I take a deep breath and try to relax as he starts pushing in; the blunt end of his cock feels like a delicious pressure on my entrance. It burns a little, but I actually like it as my tight muscles finally give away, stretching me impossibly. He finally makes his way inside me, but my heart melts at the way he looks at me, holding his breath, his pupils blown wide and the look of desperate pleasure on his face.

“Breathe, love,” I whisper, my fingers cupping his cheek, our lips meeting softly.

Inch by inch he pushes in deeper, working his way in slowly, down to the hilt. And then he stops and we just breathe into each other’s mouth.

“Fuck, I’m inside you…” he whispers, his forehead against mine and our noses touching, “does it hurt?”

“Just a bit,” I reply, “I feel full…and stretched. You’re so hot.”

“You feel so tight and unbelievable,” he says, finally kissing me, “so good. I feel like I’m losing my mind already.”

He pushes some of his magic into me and I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest, like my skin might catch fire.

“Hmmm…”

I never thought I could feel so close to him. Like I don’t know where he ends and I begin.

“You can start moving, you know?” I say softly, tucking a loose curl behind his ear. It bounces back and I stroke it as he looks at me with such tender eyes.

“I want to make you feel good,” he mumbles against my skin.

**Simon**

He tells me to start moving and I feel like I’m going to die, because he feels so tight and amazing and my mind is going to shatter. All my nerves are on fire. I rock gently against him and he gasps.

“Does it hurt?” I ask, stopping immediately.

“No, it feels great,” he whispers, “please don’t stop.”

I begin to thrust shallowly and then I pick up the pace, pushing in even deeper, making him moan loudly and doing the same myself.

Little whines are caught high in his throat every time I brush against a certain spot and I think I might break apart with the pure intense pleasure of this.

His cock is leaking onto his belly; my fingers curl around it and I give it a long stroke, tugging at his foreskin, pulling it over the head and then letting it slide back, over and over again. He bites his lip, a low moan slipping out as I keep on touching him and pounding my cock into him.

“Simon, I…”

His mouth falls open on a silent gasp and he arches his back as he comes, and I feel him getting impossibly tighter around my cock, the pleasure washing over me.

It only takes me a few deep thrusts before I come, spilling hard inside him, stars exploding in front of my closed eyes.

**Baz**

I come down from my high slowly, feeling him collapse next to me, panting hard and draping his arm across my chest.

“Fuck, Baz…that was unbelievable…”

“It was definitely a mind-blowing experience; I will give you that, Snow.”

He chuckles and presses a loud kiss on my cheek.

“Don’t you dare call me by my surname ever again.”

“Simon...” I start, his eyes staring into mine with so much love, “I need to wash.”

“What? I wanted to cuddle naked!” he protests, his hands all over my body already.

“Crowley, you’re like an octopus. We can do that later, but I want to take a shower first.”

He gets up grumbling and he heads for the bathroom to turn on the shower, when I suddenly feel it again. The pull of the bond.

It hasn’t worked.

We’re still bonded.

**Simon**

I turn and look at him, because I’m sure he’s felt it too. He looks worried, almost desperate, so I go back to him.

“It’s ok, Baz,” I say, kissing his cheek, then his forehead and his lips, “it’s fine. We’re fine. It doesn’t mean anything. Maybe you need to fuck me too; we can try that next, if you want.”

He shakes his head and pulls me down into a tight embrace.

“I’m still yours and you’re mine,” I say, “nothing changes.”

He nods against my chest and after a few minutes we get up and head to the en suite. We take turns washing each other, he winces a bit when I touch him between his legs, but I try to be really gentle and he smiles at me like he loves me.

I know he does. He’s probably just as scared as I am to say it out loud.

We step out of the shower and his fingers find my chin.

“You need a shave,” he mutters.

“Barely, but I will do it, if you want.”

He nods and walks towards the door.

“You don’t have to go,” I say, “stay here with me.”

“You cut yourself every time you shave, Simon,” he argues, “and I don’t fancy feeling like biting you right now.”

“I wouldn’t mind you drinking my blood, you know?” and his eyes open wide, “you’re my boyfriend, after all. And I trust you.”

He gapes at me and I don’t know if it’s because of the boyfriend or the vampire statement. Then he smiles and comes back to gently kiss me on the lips.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” he whispers and leaves the room.

I take the shaving foam and put some onto my hand, then spread it on my face. I feel warm, but I guess it’s because I’ve just taken a hot shower and the ventilation in the room is crap. I take the razor and start shaving, trying to pay attention and avoid any cuts.

But then I feel it in my stomach. The strong tug, that familiar pull at my core, meaning that there’s something wrong. I go and check on Baz and find him gone. He’s left the room.

“Shit!”

I wipe my face with his shirt, then put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a jumper. I don’t bother with socks, but I just slip in my old trainers and start running down the stairs.

I don’t know what’s wrong. Why on earth did he decide to leave? Has someone abducted him? Was it the Mage?

I run past the main school buildings and I can feel his presence to my left.

The Wavering Wood.

I can feel my body heating up, red angry blisters appearing on my arms and hands, my skin prickling like mad as I feel like puking.

“Baz!” I call and I suddenly see him ahead of me, stumbling and nearly falling. It feels like a déja-vu, running after him into the thick of the woods, until he reaches a familiar clearing and collapses onto the ground. It’s the place where my spell bound us together.

He’s just wearing his school uniform and it’s November, he would normally be cold, but because of the bond, his body is covered in ice and his lips are blue.

I land on top of him and we both moan, as our bodies finally recover from the shock and we pant into each other’s mouths.

“What the fuck were you doing, running away like that?” I shout and I finally notice that he’s crying.

“I need to tell you something important and I couldn’t do it in our room. Simon, I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry about what?” I ask, my fingers cupping his cheek.

“I lied to you. I’ve been lying all this time,” he says, his voice broken, “I know which spell you cast when you bound us together, but I’m a coward and I was too scared of telling you the truth.”

“Baz, what the hell are you talking about?”

I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m so confused and he’s still shaking in my arms, so I hold him closer.

“You cast ‘ **Show me your feelings** ’ and all this time I’ve been showing you how I feel towards you, but it’s not enough. I need to tell you out loud for the bond to break. Some things cannot be left poetically unsaid.”

I hold my breath as our eyes lock and I feel his fingers gently stroking my face.

“Simon, I love you. I have loved for so long that now it’s a part of who I am. I’ve loved you since the day we first met, but it took me years to realise it.”

“Baz…” I whisper, feeling like I might start crying any minute too.

“I was eleven and I had lost my mother and my soul, but the Crucible gave me you and you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues, his voice growing confident, “I love you with all my heart.” 

**Baz**

I feel my heart soaring. A smile is blooming on my lips as Simon’s grin lights up his face, a tear running down his cheek.

He kisses me, deep and clumsy, then he gets up and holds his hand out for me to take. I grab it and stand in front of him.

The love of my life. And now he finally knows the truth.

He steps away from me and I realise the bloody bond is still there.

“What the fuck?” I shout.

“I thought it was going to happen,” he says with a shrug.

I look at him and I’m so confused. He simply smiles and takes my hand again.

“It’s because I haven’t told you how I feel,” he says, “It was not just you keeping the bond alive. It was the both of us.”

Could it be?

“I love you, Baz. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it,” I feel a gentle breeze circling my body and that pull that has been drawing me to him like a magnet for the past two months is suddenly gone. “I love you.”

We kiss and we kiss and then kiss some more. Until his stomach starts rumbling and I’m so cold that I’m shivering in his arms.

“Let’s go back inside, before you freeze your posh fit arse.”

“So it’s fit, then,” I tease him.

“Oh, come off it. You know you look stunning,” he says, gently squeezing my arse.

“Oi!” I complain, secretly enjoying how intimate it feels to have him touching me, even without the bond.

His lips catch mine again and he pushes some of his magic into me, making me moan.

“Glad that’s still working,” he winks at me and he’s made of trouble, “as long as I keep on giving you my magic, the Humdrum won’t come back. Plus, it feels nice.”

“Simon, you don’t have to be with me just to save the world from the Humdrum,” I say, feeling the need to give him a way out. “You could give your magic to someone else; even Bunce would be ok with it, I bet.”

But he shakes his head and squeezes my hand in a reassuring way, a low flow of his magic entering my body as we walk side by side.

“You’re the only one I want to give it to. I’m choosing to only give it to you, because it’s more than just magic sharing,” he says blushing, “it feels like I’m giving you part of myself.”

I pull him towards me and cover his lips with mine, sliding my fingers through his curls and making him moan into my mouth. And his body feels so warm and solid against mine, even without his magic binding us together. It still feels magickal.

“We could pretend that the bond’s still there,” he says when we eventually part and start walking towards the school again, “we could enjoy it for a bit longer, you know? At least until the holidays.”

“You’re still spending Christmas at mine, with or without the bond. The Old Families will cease the fight with the Mage, if we speak to Father and to the Coven. Now that the Humdrum is no longer a threat, there’s no point in fighting.”

He seems to think about it for a few seconds and then he smiles at me.

“I suppose I could try to speak to the Mage and convince him to stop fighting,” he brings my hand to his lips and kisses it softly, “but we could pretend we’re still bonded.”

“I need to go back to my old timetable, Simon. I have to get ready for university. And you should do the same,” I add affectionately.

We walk past the bridge and he squeezes my hand.

“You could help me choose a new timetable. To prepare for next year,” he says, tugging at his curls, “I want to go to university with you and Penny. Live together, the three of us.”

I smile at him and squeeze his hand back.

“You’re not fed up with me yet?”

“Never.”

“You’re an absolute nightmare.”

“And you’re a posh twat.”

We stop and his lips find mine. I will never have enough of his kisses, of feeling his hand so warm and solid in mine.

“I love you, Simon.”

“I love you, Baz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed the ending! I had already decided that it was going to end like this before I even started writing it, but as I went along, I think a lot of people expected Baz to confess his feelings to break the bond before they had sex, so I was a bit worried about my original plan.  
> Anyway, I am planning for a small sequel, both for the SnowBaz and for the DeNiall story lines (Christmas and then one year later), so stay tuned!  
> Thank you so much for reading this fic until the end, please let me know what you thought about it.


End file.
